I need desperate help.

Please please help us; I am desperate!! Need to figure out how to help ourselves our lives depend on it!?

• We both need all kinds of help very badly. I don't know what to do! I work on getting resources when I can (SSI,state medical,free doctors etc.) but I am currently out of options...I lost everything in a fire 2 years ago w no insurance and we were poor to begin with; that huge hit has had us struggling to stay housed and fed ever since. My boyfriend of 5 years Adam is a great worker but noone will hire or keep him, only because of his health issues!! He has gastroparesis. It's like diabetes x 11. He's only supposed to be eating like 25% of what is in your average grocery store and even if he's good he dry-heaves or pukes every morning. It is destroying his teeth, extremley painful. Every month or so it starts a downward spiral that ends in the hospital. He also has anxiety which can set his stomach off real fast. The only thing I can do to help him is remind him not to overeat or eat the wrong things but lately he just hides at his friends house and does what he wants, which is apparently to destroy his body! I have bipolar disorder, anxiety, anger issues and severe depression. I get suicidal every couple days. It's *always* brought on by stress. I have a blatantly abusive employer, which L&I will not do anything about, and I can't find a better job. I am tired of constantly striving to keep our heads above water financially and, god forbid, be happy, only to be beat down again by some new ridiculous situation. I have been alone many times while suicidal and so far have not had the courage to do it, I think about Adam and my pets at the last second and I cry for 6-8 hours and/or cut instead. I'm afraid sometime soon I will snap. Adam only makes it worse, claiming he has tried to be supportive but I yell at him. I don't remember this. There is truly nothing in my life to look forward to... We got kicked out of our sh*tty apt recently and were going to be homeless but our friends tricked us into moving in with them for $400, then 1 week later said we need to move out. It's "too much stress". We have lived with them before so they knew what they were getting into! Anyway here we are about to be homeless again. I make about $400/mo but Adam spends half of that on "spice" (pot-like legal substance). He has nothing else to help the extreme pain and constant nausea. The free doctor we go to can only see him every other month and so far every drug we can afford has failed and he goes right back to the spice. We are not doing well as a couple. I beg him for his help at least with my mental issues but he always has his physical problems to deal with and can't even say kind words. He runs away. He begs me to just leave him alone about his health but with my issues especially I can't just stand by and watch him slowly kill himself and he wont do anything about it! What can I do to help him? What can I do to help myself?? Should I try to go to college or something despite my issues? Should we break up? We're equally f*cked up I'd say and we can't give the other anything they want or need but we can't afford to split finances entirely either.. I know I have to fight to make things happen but how? What else is there to do please tell me there is some kind of hope please please! I thank you so much for reading this and any kind of advice you can give. This is my last option, our lives are in danger especially his if we can't find help soon. Thank you..

• Answer:

  Awful as this sounds, you need to leave him and help yourself. He's not helping you, and he's making your situation worse. If you have family you can go home to, then do it. If not just look for a share house for you, and focus on you. When he pulls himself together you might be able to get back together, but at the moment you are both drowning. Sink or swim. Good luck.