How to refiine n make my statements into a FINE ART?

Is this artist statement alright for college?

• My professor likes honest, and weird artist statements. title: mememememeememmememe...me Why do I make art? Everyone is always asking this question and expecting a drawn out, influential answer full of big artsy words that I myself have yet to understand. I make art for two reasons that are very opposite of each other. The first reason is simple, it is because I’m selfish. Don’t worry though, I think you’re selfish too. Secondly, as an artist I enjoy building the confidence of myself and my subjects. My weapon of choice is my camera. I chose to photograph people in order to portray them in a better light. I typically photograph normal people; young and old and strive to make them more beautiful than they are. I enjoy seeing my subjects reaction to themselves when my final product is on display. This is when my selfish side comes into play, I enjoy the flattery that I receive from my viewers. When someone is happy with my photography, in return I am pleased as well. Naturally as other humans do, I strive for the approval of others. I manipulate my images with Adobe Photoshop, to diminish negative aspects of people such as pimples, though I also use it to enhance my subjects natural beauty. Essentially I make art in order to obtain a sense of euphoria. I can only hope that my photography leaves my viewers with the same feeling. If I ever lose that feeling then I know it is my time to move on...

• Answer:

  You are young, and that is a good thing. The strenth and optimizom of youth inspires others. It is important to articulate yourself and express your meaning. your wordsare your herald and will instruct other how to precieve you. you say you are selfish, but in what way. I know you do not entirely know why you do what you do. It is like why a cay chaces a mouse. you are compelled to do so. you find gradifcation in showing the idealize image of people. to show all, that witch makes a person unique an beautiful. to clear away that witch distracts other from seeing the person within. If you are just persuing a feeling, that is not enough. It is ficle and petty, fleeting moments in a life time. do it because it is who you are. that does not mean people do not change.