Should i stop caring what people think completely? people say it's unhealthy to, but in my case? how can I?
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Does it matter what people think of you? I want you to come up with the answer I should believe, or some advice to kill this worrying. I'm really anxious all the time. It's eating away at me. I live in my head: I'm either daydreaming or worrying about something, usually to do with what people think of me. I just worry pretty much all the time. It kills me. I can't control it, or I don't know how to, at least, I've tried, believe me. I know I could channel all this energy into something far more worthwhile. For example, I couldn't concentrate in half my lessons today because of a 30 second conversation with someone in my year at break. I tuned out of a full one hour lesson (and got myself really panicked-noticed my breathing and heart rate shooting up) to analyse whether anything I'd said was offensive, including my body language, and found myself worrying excessively about certain things I'd said/the way I'd smiled/acted when they said certain things I always have a worry, and it's almost always bollocks and revolves around what otehr people think, or making sure i don't hurt them. I think the things I worry about are: -that I could be having a negative impact on other people who I talk to. I worry that I've offended them/bashed their confidence, so decide to check, to see if I should apologise/make up for anything. I'd never go out of my way to offend someone, so it's usually little things that I analyse, like my body language/what I come up with to say to people, how friendly I seem etc. I think it's to do with wanting to have an overall positive or neutral impact on the world, and a fear that I might affect thigns in a bad way -whatever else shoots into my head, regarding what others must think of me. Right when I'm free of worry, another one always tumbles in and tortures me. Today, after hours of thought, I came to the conclusion that I had not in fact been offensive in my convo with the boy in my year, or if I had, it would really have been to a very small extent, to the point that he wouldn't have thought more than twice about it. I felt relaxed. Right after though, I had a worry which was about ten times worse, which could have had far worse consequences if what I was thinking about did come true. I only realise in hindsight just how crappy and irrational that worry was. I worry about something for ages until I realise it isn't a sensible worry, and that it's completely bollocks. then more bollocks enters my mind: there is a new command to worry about something equally unlikely/trivial/uncontrollable which seems to make sense to worry about. I can't escape. That doesn't sum up my worries for a day though, i'm keeping things short here.There are millions of others, and sometimes I have multiple worries at the same time. It kills. If I stopped caring what people thought, my worries would be far fewer, i can tell you. so waht do i do? People say that it's healthy to worry a bit about what people think of you, and you'd be a dick if you never learned from your conversations and what you did right/wrong. So I always convince myself to worry, "for my good". I start by saying, "I'll quickly think through the convo, and what went down well etc". Then I can't control it, and I'm killing myself with worry.
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Answer:
I use to care about what they say. But that caused me a lot of psychological problems. I use to go through depression and all of that because i am a really sensitive. But take it from me who cares about what they say. All that matters is what do you think. And after you agree with that you will feel 100% good about yourself. Take it from me
Laura... at Yahoo! Answers Visit the source
Other answers
i think that you probably have a hard time dealing with this issue because an event earlier in life probably causes you to go into this state of mind. however, i know nothing about you, but i do think that something has traumitized your emotions in a way that they start acting this way. but, in a way; i think it is kinda koo that your always looking out for others and wondering if your actions are right by them...
siko tata
For goodness sake just go to the bloody Doctor
Snoopdawgggggggggg
Whenever I regret something or am embarressed about something I force myself to laugh and think that I'm glad it happened because it's an experience, but I don't know, that just works for me It's nice that you care whether you hurt people, I'm sure you don't
Mary Warren
Other people's opinion of you is important when they can influence your life. You need to be able to sort out that which is rational from that which is not. People who have no concern with the opinion of others are as problematic as those who worry excessively. Mental health is a balance between them. Your "handle," "pooface," appears to be self deprecating. What we call ourselves is enlightening to others. If you do not respect yourself, how do you expect others to do so? I do not think this is the forum for you to answer this question. You may need to speak with a mental health professional if you are experiencing an anxiety disorder and/or personality issues. Given the amount of time that this issue consumes, since you say you can not control it, you must be able to answer the question, "Does this effect my work, social, and private life." You stated: "For example, I couldn't concentrate in half my lessons today because of a 30 second conversation with someone in my year at break. I tuned out of a full one hour lesson (and got myself really panicked-noticed my breathing and heart rate shooting up) to analyse whether anything I'd said was offensive, including my body language, and found myself worrying excessively about certain things I'd said/the way I'd smiled/acted when they said certain things" I suspect the answer is, "Yes" with this one incident you provided. You need a professional not the internet. Perhaps this will lead you to your answer.
Joseph O
6 months on xanax, just so you know what it is like to be normal.
Vampires are not real
To be honest with you, I used to be one of the types of people that used to care what people thought of me all the time. I know, it's not good, because you're always down and thinking of the worse. But now, I don't really think like that. Really, all you have to do is just ignore it, don't let it get to you as much. If you rely on the good friends you have, and your family, they'll be able to help you through it. Helped me get through it, now I don't even wear makeup or really dress up that much anymore, because I just don't care what people think. I wear sweat & track pants everyday. I hoped this helps, and good luck! :)
taaaaay - *
A brief answer would be: it is teenage angst! You really can write though can't you! Look, if you for real are as worry ridden as your question depicts, you need to channel it somewhere. Write down key words about each niggling event of the day and talk yourself into only discussing them with your inner mind for five minutes every evening. You will note that they are repetitive and that should give you some perspective. However going back to my early thought, talent like yours should not be wasted . Give some serious mind time to contacting your local rag about writing a teen column and directing that angst. If I were the editor I would snap you up!
Christine H
Just be yourself. It doesn't matter what other people think. They won't matter in your future. Just ignore them. Believe me. I've tried to change & it's hard. But just ignore people & be yourself. In the end, it'll pay off to be someone who isn't so obsessed with other people's opinions.
Your problem is within yourself and solution is also within yourself. Diagnoses your problem shows that you are confused with your self. The one thing i like to tell you that "PRESENT TENSE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT". You just concentrate on your work. Like say during teaching work you kept your mind on it,while bathing you concentrate on bathing work. While you are resting you can think on the past time. But remember that you can not change the past as it was already gone. You can't change the future as it is yet to come. Only present tense is in your hand which you can live as per your wish so do not west it into the worrying of other matters which are not in your hand now. You fix your target and you just achieve it. After that you will see people will stop saying anything about you. You should not worry about the past but try that old mistake do not repeat in future.
indra000
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