How do I begin to love so i can find real love & real happiness? ?

Yes this is the first step you have to love yourself first, who you are and what are the good qualities that you bring, when you are around other people, what is it that you like about yourself and what do you not like about yourself, examine these things and try to improve on the things that you do not like about yourself, thru self hypnosis and talking to yourself in the mirror before you go to sleep. You need to be able to love all the small wonders around you, like the birds and flowers and nature and your pets, you need to have love for these thing and appreciate them, so that you can love your self and be ready to love some one else. When you are happy with your self , then you will be able to share your life with someone else.

No, you are approaching this exactly the right way. You must love and respect yourself first. Also, you are a role model to your child (daughter?) She will look at you to define what is normal in a married type relationhip. If you settle for a bum or allow yourself to be walked all over, chances are she will too. Give it some time, lots of time. Do some inner work first. I read the tarot and can shed some light on the you of the here and now, maybe identify the areas that need work. But you are on the right track now. Blessings, -Wilds