Why Are Some People So Controlling In Relationships?

Why Are Some People So Controllling In Relationships?

• A friend of mine (it's just platonic) is in living with a very possessive, nagging and verbally abusive woman. Whenever he leaves the house she calls him consistently like he's a teenage and checks up on him. It frustates and upsets him alot when she does it. I asked him well is she your girlfriend or your mother and he told me neither. I said well she seems to think she's one of them. Then he said people get in these relationships and then they want to controll the other person. He said this is how you find yourself by yourself. He said when he gets out of this situation no one better not say anything to him. I could tell he's upset but he's still there with her & I told him it must not be as bad as he says it is. He said, it's bad enough, but he can't afford to move out, so he said it is what is right now but I want to move out of the state. Why are some people so controlling in relationships and why do people stay in those kinds of relationships when they're clearly not happy?

• Answer:

  People who try to control their partners in relationships are very insecure and fear their partner will cheat on them or leave them so they try to keep control over their every move. Of course all this does is make the other person feel closed in and unhappy so it usually ends in splitting up. Controlling people basically feel like they are unworthy or not good enough for the person they are with. Sometimes it is a result of previous bad experiences and they still carry that with them into their next relationship and are generally untrusting. The sad thing is that it becomes a self fulfilling prophesy and what they fear most usually happens because of their controlling behavior.