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How to go overcome nemesis?

• Suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder from childhood. Diagnosed with major depression, Bipolar disorder & mild schizophrenia. Am 24 now. Excess of emotional abuse & spanking by parents during childhood.Two potential suicide attempts at 13 & 15,extreme suicidal thoughts at present but those aren't the main issue; Ignored & avoided by reason & self control. Excess of harassment feeling ever present,total absence of mind,panic,zero focusing ability. Engagement of brain with any non crucial task like TV, computer, maths, calculations help but not long, Engagement of brain with work related task makes the same task extremely tough than it was without responsibility or obligation like calculations, writing articles etc. but when all is done and there is nothing to do, it feels like getting stabbed again n again n again. Psychological testing report indicated as a love deprived individual and suggested biological birth givers to create healthy psychological environment, but the abuse increased. they are dominant, blackmail emotionally, can behead the offspring if require to keep ego erected. No emotional affection present in father and mother for offspring but for self. People out there are no good humans, selfish & discriminative so, no friends! No girlfriend! Switched 7 diff. jobs.to keep self busy. couldn't survived any one of them for more than a couple of months. Harassment & panic roused to peak during working period, so had to quit! parents dont care whether alive or dead. kept on fighting like... home's environment..house's environment is like someone's dead. went to 5 diff psychiatrists and counselors but they dont want to listen, even if anyone of them listen he ignore it like a rubbish and impose their point. No SSRI and NDRI has made any diff from last 2.5 years. Economic Crisis!! Thanks to God. Successful in developing ways to come out nearly all of those phobias and unrequired needs apart of one or two! It looked like everything is going to be alright now. but from last couple of months the need for love like Mother's love when she come and coddle my head with love in my dreams, father's affection, a hug..is on peak! Even combining all techniques to remain stoic isn't helping. They are making me so sensitive that any emotional scene on TV, any quote about love in magazine or newspaper are making me cry for next half an hour. From last week it happened 4th time that woke me up with watery eyes and intimidated heart in the morning. NOTHING is helping to divert mind. Even employing my best, extreme effort, I am unable to overcome this feeling. It's making me completely secluded from normal people category. It might take time but it is pushing me to do things unconciously to rupture this living corpse. blades, matchstics even when I try to have Bupropion it seems like some from inside urging to gulp all tablets of the strip together. So now after analysing last few incidents it seems like situation is becoming lethal and any arbitrate action may be fatal. dont have any regrets to life, nor any repent if die tomorrow, but I don't want to end up like this! Don't want to go with the tag of towdry of suicide. Is there anything, you think, I can do to live? Any suggestions would really be appreciated and of great help..

• Answer:

  Lean dialectical behaviral therapy with a passion. Start off with the teenager books. Take 1 tablespoon of grounded flaxseed on your cereal every day.