I Need advice on benefits in the UK.

I just need some advice, my life is up and down?

• Hi, I'm from the UK and i'm only 19 and female, so any advice would be great thanks! Basically I took a gap year working last year, went to university but left because my course wasn't right for me. So since then, I have been at home (2 and a half months) bored out of my mind because apart from 1 friend, everyone's at uni. I haven't been able to find a job and my old job can't take me back. So i'm very broke, had to try and live on some savings, benefits and my parents helping me out. I live with my parents, and in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. Last week, my boyfriend asked me to move in with him where he is at uni (a few hours from home) and i've said yes - but still struggling to find a job there (i'll move in 2 weeks time) and i can't move until i have money so i can pay rent. In the last 24 hours, things have been extremely difficult. My mother suffered a heart attack, so now i feel i don't want to leave her in 2 weeks (was planning to visit every weekend) and my dad to be left with responsibility and looking after my autistic brother! Also, my bf told me that he hadn't even asked his landlord about us living together and said it may not be possible because of insurance. So i feel like my hopes have been lifted, but crushed again, because I can't go to live a life with my boyfriend because he still hasn't bothered to call his landlord. He went out tonight but still spoke to me on the phone as i was upset, but i hung up cos he was too busy concentrating on his friends.. I'm so stuck with life, i can't find a job here, but there's more luck in this other city. I'm worried i won't be able to live with him, or i stay home with my family, who need me right now but not maybe later.... I haven't been out with friends in over a month and i feel so depressed, im crying daily, something is always going on. But my friends and my bf are having busy fun hardworking lives to help me, longest phonecalls i usually get with the bf are 10mins... Anyway, im so sorry if this is long! I'm upset as i type this, so need to calm down....but if anybody can give any advice, at all, it would be very appreciated as i need some help right now and to talk to someone. Thank you....

• Answer:

  Its easy to see how you can be overwhelmed right now.My advice is to stay with your family right now until you feel your Mom is well again. In the mean time plan for an education, understand that courses itself will not lead you to a perfect career you just want something to get you started and ready for the direction you want to go in. Continue looking for a job but realize you may have to settle for something that is not so great for the time being. As for the boyfriend situation at the age you are now moving in and staying with him at school is probably too much right now, he wants to help but it isn't fair for him to have to put his living arrangements at risk for you. You should appreciate the sentiment but realize it is not a long term or appropriate short term solution. Find an activity (ie runnning or swimming) to stay happy and start putting in motion a plan for the future you want to live as soon as possible. Best of Luck.