How to get husband to take off shoes at the door?

We have the same problem, except I'm the one who has shoes all over the house. My husband complains regularly, but I've always worn my shoes in the house and take them off wherever I happen to be when I feel like taking them off. Conversely, my husband ALWAYS loads the dishwasher incorrectly, leading to dirty dishes (which he puts away without even looking at the) and chips in almost all of our everyday stoneware dishes, which I love and have been discontinued so I can't replace them. Our solution: once a week my husband goes through the house, picks up all my shoes and throws them haphazardly in my closet. And every time I pull a dirty dish, pot, pan, etc out of the cupboard to use it, I re-wash it by hand. Bottom line: I'm sure there are things that you do that drive him crazy...like you constantly nagging him to stop doing something he's probably done all his life. In the large scheme of things, there are far worse things that have or will happen in your marriage. Try to keep perspective and pick your battles wisely. EDIT: I was hoping I wouldn't have to clarify "the larger scheme" for you. What I meant is that this is such a trivial issue compared to what could be happening in your life. Maybe it's because we're older, or maybe it's because my husband deals with life and death events daily, but something as trivial as shoes laying around the house just don't seem that important. My husband is an ICU nurse. When he comes home and tells me about the 22 year old girl who was shot in the head by her step father, or the 35 year old woman who survived a stroke, only to die 3 weeks later of a pulmonary embolism. Closer to home, my step daughter nearly died a year ago when she was diagnosed with preeclampsia. They delivered our grandson 3 months premature. He survived for 5 months and then died without ever leaving the NICU. Seriously, I don't give a rat's heiny about what condition my dishes are in when they end up back in the cupboard. Yes, it's mildly irritating, but if I'm going to get really upset about something, it's probably that my step daughter is now pregnant again, and I'm terrified for her and the life of our next grandchild. I don't mean to be downer, which is why I didn't mention all of this I first response, but I WISH the most trying thing my husband and I had to deal with this year is dirty dishes and scattered shoes.

Yell at him.

WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO INCONVENIENCE YOUR HUSBAND IN HIS OWN HOUSE? THAT SOUNDS SELFISH. THAT IS JUST A REASON TO ***** ABOUT SOMETHING. A MAN LIKES TO COME HOME AND FEEL LOVED AND APPRECIATED,NOT TO COME HOME AND WONDER WHAT YOU ARE GONNA ***** ABOUT NEXT. JUST LOVE EACH OTHER AND DONT WORRY ABOUT LITTLE THINGS. YOU NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH TIME YOU HAVE TOGETHER SO MAKE THE BEST OF IT.

Clearly you do want to be a nag about it because if you didn't, it wouldn't even be an issue. So when he comes in, ask him to take off his shoes. If there isn't one already put a bench by the front door so that it's easy to sit down and take them off and he doesn't have to go retrieve them and bring them to a chair in another room to put them on when he leaves.

Buy him a pair of house shoes or slippers.

I am the same as your husband, I wear my shoes and trainers indoors all the time and sometimes lay on the bed with them. If they are dirty then i'd take them off, i'm sure if you explained to him to at least change his dirty footwear to clean ones because it causes you extra work then he'd be okay. My ex used to nip at me constantly but I am far more comfortable in my trainers than I could ever be barefooted and slippers are (in my opinion) for old people and small children. I quickly got tired of her nagging over invisible germs so we split. For the record, I still have the house and it is kept clean despite having a dog wandering in and out from the back garden all day. My advice would be to at least request that he change dirty or wet footwear into fresh clean ones once indoors. Perhaps buying a pair of trainers that are just for the house would work? They are still outdoor footwear so don't have the grandad image of a pipe and slippers but they just stay in the house. Take those off at the door when leaving as you would with normal slippers and put them back on when returning home.

My husband is the same way. I'm thinking of using a cattle prod (all that men seem to understand are the most basic of physical gestures, like pleasure and pain ;p). On a serious note, just remind him EVERY TIME he comes in the door. It is a nuisance but otherwise he'll forget trust me. Perhaps leave some reminders like a note taped to the wall by the door, or one on the fridge like, "Are you still wearing shoes? If so, TAKE THEM OFF", hopefully he can figure out what to do once he's reminded. I realize I'm talking about men as if they're all stupid but when you've told someone to do the same thing over and over again, it feels like paper training a puppy or something ;-/ Anyway good luck hon, I feel for you <3

"Boundaries" by Cloud / Townsend get a clue.

Sex. Try using sex. Wearing only some panties and a tank top, go over to him while he's sitting on the couch, and sit right on his lap cowgirl style. Then, as soon as he starts warming up, tell him that you really need something from him ... really bad (while you start to move on top of him a little.) When he asks what you need, slowly get up, stand in front of him and start taking your top off while you tell him he'll find out after his shoes are in the rack, but BE SEXY when you tell him. Drop your voice down an octave and say it just above a whisper, while you reach over and give him a squeeze someplace he'll really appreciate. Be blatant. Be explicit. Walk around in something black, lacy and very naughty, and as soon as he starts getting a little hot, walk towards the bedroom, and tell him from over your shoulder that he doesn't get the treat unless his shoes are where they belong. "Honey, no more b j until those shoes are in the rack." "Baby, if you want to put it in me tonight, then those shoes have to be put in the rack tonight." "Darling, if you don't put your shoes where your hot, horny wife asks you, she won't be hot or horny tonight." You can do this. If you've already tried this and it didn't work, then you have 3 choices: Either keep complaining and go nutso over it; Stop complaining and accept that he's somehow shoe rack challenged, and that this will never ever change, and instead focus on the fact that he has other redeeming qualities which you adore; Leave the marriage and find a man who likes putting his shoes in the rack for you. Try the sexpot thing first, because that usually works. The idea of a hot, enthusiastic b j is usually enough to motivate a guy to do practically anything.