Why does my husband hate me, and why cant I make myself leave?

Dear Broken, You aren't "weak, stupid and pathetic". You've been used and abused. If someone treats you like sh*t long enough, you start to feel like sh*t, too. No one can tolerate that level of abuse for such a long time without suffering damage to their self-esteem so your negative feelings about yourself are more or less normal given the circumstances. That being said, no more self-criticism, ok? My advice? Don't make yourself leave him. Make him leave you. The very next time he puts his hands on you, call the police and have him arrested. The next time, he subtly threatens you by destroying your things, call the police and have him arrested. If he thinks it is okay to beat you, control you, and terrorize you, let him explain himself to the cops and a judge. Let him deal with any of the consequences by himself. And don't let him guilt you into dropping the charges--even if he apologizes and begs for mercy. Men who choose to beat up women are choosing to get themselves into trouble. One of two things will happen. Scenario one--you'll scare him into treating you with a modicum of respect, as you will have taught him a lesson on how not to act in a relationship. Scenario two, he'll leave you for some other woman who will tolerate severe mistreatment and you'll be free to start fresh with someone who will treat you better. No matter how the situation plays out, you'll end up feeling better about yourself because you will have taken steps to stop your abuse. God bless. Keep your head up.

You have been acting like a doormat, so he is treating you accordingly. If you stay with him, you will end up in the morgue, there is absolutely no doubt about it. So if you think the thought of being without him or the thought of him being with another woman is worse than your own death, then by all means, stay and spend the (short) remainder of your life being abused.

This sounds like the typical battered wife syndrome. Do some research on this topic, learn all you can and get some self worth back. Learn to love yourself as a good mother wold love you. If I were your mother, I would pack your bags for you and take you somewhere safe. These kinds of abusers use your fear and love against you. they isolate you from friends and family, they get you to believe they are all there is, get you completely dependent on them to the point that they get to define who you are and then they beat you. Then its the "I'm sorry" playacting and the charitable gifts-- flowers, clothes... to get you to believe it wont happen again. You buy into it and it starts all over again. If it is true that we all do certain behaviors for certain reasons, What is your reason?

Consult a psychiatrist. Maybe you are already liking the idea of getting hurt. This is your comfort zone for years and it is not easy to get out of it. He manipulated your life to be like this, he wanted your life to be always about him so he can do everything he wants to do with you. And because he doesn't allow you to have a social life, the more you are getting attached to him. Dont make yourself like this. Dont spend your life living for someone else.

sounds like hes mad bc he has a small penis

Call the National Abuse Hotline and get professional help to make a safe exit plan from this marriage and get a restraining order so he can't contact you. "how do I make myself leave regardless of how much I love him?" Just remind yourself of how Nicole Brown Simpson ended up and how you would like to live long enough to see your great grandchildren. I think you love how you thought he was - not who he really is.

your making your self to be strong you should believe in what you can do and what you cant he has alot of xs do you want to be one of those xs with kids and over because it might end up the same leave before he decides to have kids and think of this if you do have kids with him he hit's you don you think he will hit kids sounds to me he treats you well when he wants something or feels like it leave while you are still you

Whoa!!! First of all.....You have to learn to love yourself...First! You deserve respect and to be loved. You are not weak because a weak person could not handle this treatment! He obviously has control and abusive issues. He definitely has a personality disorder, if you haven't heard of this look it up! He is not happy or satisfied with himself, that is why he puts you down and calls you names. You are his beating bag. Why can't you stand the thought of being without him, you need to realize that you are better than this and you should want more out of life. You have a purpose in life and it is not to be abused! You need to look at yourself in the mirror! and tell yourself I LOVE YOU, I am better than this! I Deserve Better and to be Loved! Get Help while you can, it is never to late!

You deserve Better. You have given all you have to this guy. You need a therapist. Some tough love is required here. Do you have a job? Do you have somewhere to go? He is sick and he is making you sick too. For your own sanity and self-confidence..RUN!