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What is meant by the term holistic play?

What do you think my exBoyfriend meant when he said, "We'll play it by ear"?

  • My ex-boyfriend and I broke up about 8 weeks ago. When he broke up with me he said that we should take a 30 day break and then we'll meet and talk about our relationship/breakup. 5 weeks passed and we met up Sunday. I told him I just wanted to be friends (in fear of rejection, but really I want him back). He told me that's what he'd hope I'd say. He said he didn't want to be in relationship for a while. He asked did I still have feelings for him and I told him I do and that I still love him. He said he still have feelings for me. I asked him is it that he doesn't want to be relationship with anyone right now or is that he just doesn't want to be in a relationship with me? And he said not with anyone right now. After this I asked him something, else but I can't really remember the exact phrase or words I used. But I basically asked him is there a chance we'll ever be together again (in other words) and he said we'll play it by ear. What do you think he meant by, "We'll play it by ear"? Also, Do you think I should be friends with and see him as "friends only"? I'm not talking about friends with benefits - just platonic friends? I have no problem spending time with him as a friend while I move on and see other guys. But I think deep down, I'll always be hoping that one day he will have a change of heart ask me to be his girlfriend again.

  • Answer:

    First of all...it is quite hard to just be friends with someone you still love. I would suggest not seeing him until you are over him completely. Second ...it sounds to me like he didn't want to hurt you but he isn't very interested in being with you. "We'll play it by ear" sounds very noncommittal. Maybe you should move on because there are other guys out there!:-)

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I think he's interested in someone else and it just buying time. Doesn't want to lose you in case his other doesn't work out. Play it by ear lets you down soft without pissing you off. I think you should avoid him all around.

Jill L

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it sounds like he just wants to either date other people or he just doesn't want to date you but doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Just know that there is someone out there who will want you for you and is ready for a relationship. It just takes time. Don't settle for someone that isn't crazy about you. Someone who just wants to 'play it by ear'. Either he wants to be with you or he doesn't, if he is vague like this; just let him go and move on to something better for you. Good luck!

Barking Hobbit

He has someone else. However, he does not know how that will turn out. He wants to have you as a friend with benefits.

Rob

The drama of teen angst..... It's over. He's letting you know that unless things get SPECTACULAR and quick, nothing is gonna happen. Take this as your lesson in life not to lie. If you wanted him back you shouldn't have played games.

DM

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