Do you think these people are real friends or should i make new friends....?
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Im shy and dont have much friends.I have a group of 3 friends that i always hang out with at lunch time at school and we talk outside of school too. During the summer, They never called and we never talked (not even over msn) I feel like im the one starting all the convos and they dont even really want to talk to me. The other day i was walking and saw them hanging out and it was weird since i thought they wud invite me since we are supposed to be good friends. Im really shy and its hard for me to make new friends but i dont want to be with people who i only hang out with at school. I dont have good friends that i can hang out with during the summer and stuff. How can i make new friends?Im bad at this xD
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Answer:
Making new friends is like a habit which can be learned, inculcated and mastered. Read the book "How to win friends and influence people" Friends are like the fish, you shud hav with you what they expect, only then they will stay with you
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Other answers
Well, I don't believe these people are your real friends. But stay close with them untill you make new ones. [You don't want to be alone in-between!] You can try making friends like this: 1/People are playing a game, join in XD . 2/Join a conversation~! 3/Host a party [kinda dangerous but it could work ^^ .]. 4/Join a club! Schoolwork is the probably the best possible place to make friends~! Sorry if this doesn't help!
Defiantly not real friends, but I think you're at a crossroads here: Either just burn your bridges with them and find new friends elsewhere(like Craigslist or volunteering work) -OR- Like others have said deal with them until you can other nicer friends. Everybody has some trouble making new friends,it's harder as you get older and have more things things going on so take advantage of your school situation while you can. *It's okay to be shy,but it means you will have to push yourself a little more when it comes to socializing!
Do you have any hobbies or interests? Through the holidays/weekends you could focus on those things. Maybe you're into reading, so you join a reading club, over time you get to know the people and can talk about your interest in common. Maybe you're into sports, join a local team (however the sport of interest is formed) and eventually get to know the people there. If it's an activity or something you're interested in, the main thing is you'll be enjoying yourself, so even if at first you don't fully interact with others, it doesn't matter because you're doing *your* thing! The rest will follow. There's no being bad at it, it's just practice and what you're looking for.
Hey if I were your age I'd be your friend. I was the one always finding the shy folks and trying to get them in my group. But I'm 30 now and maybe I can give you a few pointers. I dont think these friends you have now are worth it. Seem like fair weather friends to me. Best way to meet friends is to think about what it is that YOU like to do. Find a place where other kids gather to do these things. If you like art, take an art class. Music, join the choir or band. Sports, join a team. Reading, join a book club. The best way to meet new friends is to pursue your own interests and you will meet people who like the same stuff. Start convos with all sorts of people as well. this will help get you out of your shell and get you used to rejection so you dont feel it as bad after a while. If people seem standoffish or weird with you, or if they outright reject you, just move on to the next interesting looking person. Soon enough you will make some friends. In the meantime...DO NOT beat yourself up for lack of friends. If someone doesnt want to be your friend it's their problem and not yours. If you beat yourself up you will lower your self esteem and that makes you less attractive to new friends. Dont worry. You'll have friends soon. Nobody goes through life with no friends unless they really dont want them or they are a really nasty person. You dont seem to fit either of those categories. You'll do ok.
Ask__Rama has a very good suggestion the book is by Dale Carnegie
I have been through the exact same thing and these girls are not worth your time. Not inviting you out with them and not being in touch is just plain rude. Talk to someone at school or at a place you go regularly (hobby or something) you wouldn't usually talk to and gradually get them to introduce you to their friends, you'll have new friends in now time :)
Get out and join an organization that is doing something that you believe in,this may help.and if your so called friends don't want to hang with them,don't,they may see you as a burden and put you in bad situations. find new friends that like you and respect you.
Friends comes and goes eh? :) Well, to me they seem to be well, a little ignorant. I know how it is to be shy. I pushed myself to start talking to people I liked and my shyness just went away like magic. Give it some time and you'll have friends in no time!
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