Can you grade my essay?

Can you please grade my SAT essay? less than 12 hours till test?

• Prompt:Are people's lives the result of the choices they make? Can you please grade my essay out of 12 and tell me what I should change? How can I improve my writing with only 2 days left? Keep in mind this is only a rough draft and it was written within a 25 minute time limit. Quote: The course of one's life directly correlates with the choices made, whether they be positive or negative. Regardless of circumstance, both sound and counteractive decisions contribute to the final outcome. For this reason, it would be illogical to claim that life is predetermined by fate, as the path of one's life is the summation of all causative choices. Several examples derived from history and literature explicitly demonstrate this point. Negative choices and their corresponding effects manifest themselves in Nathaniel Hawthorn's novel "the Scarlet Letter". One poor choice made between Hester Prynne and Dimmesdale spiraled into a lifetime of secrecy and being shunned from society. According to Puritan beliefs, sexual escapades such as the adulterous affair between Pyrnne and Dimmesdale conflicted with the stringent morality promoted by the church. Pyrnne and Dimmesdales' extramarital affair resulted in a child out of wedlock. Upon discovery of the bastard child, the Puritan society imposed a punishment which shamed Hester and her young child. Facing ostracization from the community, the pair was forced into seclusion on the outskirts of the settlement. All for an ephemeral moment of pleasure, the future outcome of Hester and her daughter's life was set in stone. Thus, one poor choice was the predecessor for a life of shame and misery. An example from history, which illustrates how sound choices produce beneficial results, is the civil rights movements by African Americans during the pivotal times in the 1960's. Who would have thought that something as mundane as refusing to relinquish one's bus seat would produce such miraculous results? For Rosa Parks, her vigilance and stubbornness served as the catalyst that sparked the civil rights movement. The pivotal day in 1955 on the Montgomery Public Bus where Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat to a white man reflects one of the first publicized attempts of African Americans fighting for their own rights. Her choice to "sit down" for her civil rights initiated a national controversy which eventually proved to be beneficial. Because of her choice to protest against the establishment, Parks was one of the forefront leaders in the Montgomery Civil Rights movement. For better or worst, an individual's decisions influence the path of life. In both examples presented, one choice had the potential to profoundly impacted the outcome of person's life. Nevertheless, it remains important to remain vigilant in sticking to one's true beliefs. Consequently, one should examine all possible results of a choice and use this information to base their decision on the one which provides the best past in life

• Answer:

  You hit a nail on the head, I love things like this. So far you're on track, you have references and you have justification, which is good, I'd give you a 10 so far. It really depends on the point you are trying to put across based on the question, if you are directly arguing against the prospect that fate predetermines ones life, then you could base your essay on the fact that there is no way to prove that there is a 'planned fate' for every individual, if you wanted to go a more scientific direction, you could adopt the many worlds theory a little bit (obviously without all the dimensional concepts because you'd be going off on a tangent). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Many-worlds_interpretation Many worlds basically looks at the fact that life is much like a tree, for every single moment we are faced with a decision, it changes the path our life may have taken, for example, if I was faced with the situation of an elderly person being abused on the train by a young thug, I could do two things, mind my business or get involved, getting involved could result in my death and thus the end of many of my potential life branches, but would I rather live with the guilt of the elderly person being beaten to a pulp? Even should I get involved I have choices before anything happens, like to what extent I should get involved andwhat I would do should the thug attack me. Choices are the epitome of life itself, it is only when we do not have a choice do we then realise how much we desire it. There is a lot you can do with that essay, so I wouldn't give you a perfect mark just yet. However, so far it is a superb read. Keep up the good work.