What are some national early childhood associations?

Getting over a really bad childhood and other bad experiences: I need some advice please!?

• This is gonna be a long one, people. Alright, before we start, I want to make this pretty clear: This isn't about me. It's about a friend who's had a really bad childhood and really bad experiences with people (who we're going to call Lila). With this being the Internet and whatnot, I can't really tell everyone what the story is. But the thing is: she's had a really bad history and me being the go-to guy for all of my friends, I have experience with dealing with problems and having my own problems childhood-wise (which I've come to terms with). My problem is that Lila's just impossible to work with; I have given her more advice to fix her life and start over than I have to ANY of my friends who needed help, but she doesn't take any of it. I told her to talk to her friend one way or the other, but she can't (because he's never there. Surprise surprise, it's a guy) and won't (because she's just too scared), I told Lila to face her darkest fears and memories and say "I'm not afraid of you", but then she pretends everything is fine and there's nothing troubling her, when in reality, she has the personality of a black-hole. Again, I tell her to face her childhood, no matter how daunting, and accept that it happened and begin a healing process, but as always, she pulls the "I had a REALLY BAD childhood, Jay (let's say that's my name here), why can't you understand that I can't do it?" card just to weasel her way out of it. Did I mention the really bad obsessions with everything childish? Especially the Muppets and Pirates of the Caribbean? My bad. She's a 19 year old college student and is dangerously obsessed with all things childlike. I mean we all love Kermit, Piggy, and Jack Sparrow, but it's getting to the point where it essentially rules her life. This could be me talking out of frustration, but I just don't think distracting yourself because you had a crappy childhood is a good way of dealing with life. I'm a comic book fan and I LOVE video games and I LOVE to play volleyball, but it's not to THAT extent. With Lila, she really takes obsession to a whole new level. It's as if hobbies just rule her life. Then we get to the part where Lila has to drink just to make herself feel better, but we all know that sometimes, vodka just isn't the answer (even though we all want it to be >.<). I have tried to talk her out of not drinking multiple times, but then it's the same old "It makes me feel better" and "It makes the pain go away" excuse, and no matter how hard I try, nothing seems to work. Last but not least, we get to the part where I tell her that she can't (and I'm serious about this) 'lock all the bad memories away' because someday, they're going to come out and it won't be pretty. Lila says she'll ignore them and pretend they're not there, but me being the guy who's experienced stuff like this first-hand, I tell her "There's some stuff you just can't ignore. Stuff you have to deal with. If you don't deal with them, they'll break out and turn your life upside down." Nope. Drawers answer all of life's questions apparently. Anyways, Lila has to go talk to a psychiatrist because of how 'messed up' she is, and I'm willing to bet that if she too my advice, she'd be completely fine. I will admit part of this is my fault for not caring, but at this point, I just stopped bothering. We've been doing this song and dance for months, and I'm a chemical engineering major: I don't exactly crap free time. Everyone who's ever asked my help has told me that I give excellent advice. One of my closest/ best friends (whom we will call Jasmine) has asked for my help and guidance so many times, it's uncountable. And the advice I've given her has worked every single time. But since I've stopped trying with Lila, I'm asking for some general advice about how to deal with my situation, like how do I send a message that says "Just shut up and deal with it, we all have problems" without being harsh? Or just "You seriously need to find somehow to come to terms with your crappy past because I'm done with it". Or just something close or something you might find helpful to tell me. No trolling, email this address ( [email protected] ) if you want to speak personally. I'm sorry if this comes out as a rant, but everyone needs to rant sometimes and this bull has just been going on for three months, and I have just about had it.

• Answer:

  Get your friend a Paul McKenna book! :)