How can one deal with Obsessive-Compulsive tendencies?

How do I put an end to manipulative narcissistic tendencies?

• So it has recently been brought to my attention by my psychologist that I might have some narcissistic 'tendencies'. In the past I thought it was pretty normal for people to care more about themselves then others (come on... you know it's true) and I figure that someone who was actually diagnosed with a serious case of narcissistic personality disorder wouldn't really be looking into trying to fix their faults in the first place... so I guess thats where I'm different. After doing some research, however, I feel like I can relate to a lot of the personality traits that are seen as 'narcissistic'. I consider myself to be pretty charming and charismatic, most people like me, and I have more friends then I can count. In the same breath, though, I feel like many of many of my friendships are insincere and that I have a habit of keeping people around that boost my self esteem and are easily manipulated. I like people that like me. The feeling of being ignored, rejected or even if someone simply canceling plans induces a very physical sense of panic and disgust. I am socially aware enough not to make a fool of myself and react outwardly but I have learned that the best way to avoid this is to always have several people waiting on the back burner.. just in case. Sometimes when a person is talking to me I find that have problem giving a s*** about what they have to say, tuning them out, but all the while maintaining an attentive face expression. I have a talent for, when the occasion arises, winning people over and masking my intentions as good and innocent even if I am acting malignantly. One friend who as actually gotten close enough to glimpse past my facade jokingly told me that I was a 'master at social engineering'. Other traits that I exhibit is a false sense of time urgency... the same physical discomfort arises from waiting on someone although I am consistently late wherever I go, and when I ask a question I get frustrated when someone takes to long to think or over explains the answer. I have tendencies to WANT be controlling in romantic relationships and because I know this is not healthy I have to work very hard at trying minimizing this desire. Here's the kicker... I don't want to be this way. As a child I used to feel kindness and was always concerned when I heard an ambulance drive by or saw something I found to be unfair. Currently I feel as though I have lost touch with my sense of humanity and want to pursue being a nicer, more genuine, more compassionate... better person. Where do I begin? thanks. xoxo. ps: I am currently seeing a shrink but feel as though we are still in the process of "looking back" when what I'm really concerned with is moving forward.

• Answer:

  April, I must compliment you on your attitude towards this. The psychologist is probably looking at previous traumas that have numbed you to the suffering of others. Don't be too impatient with the counselling process. Thats my advice.