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How to deal with jealousy?

How do you deal with insane jealousy?

  • I'm very close to insanity. The only thing that saves me from it is the fact that I know how stupid it all is. I'm jealous of so many things that are real and so many that I make up. For example, I'm jealous of his porn, but I'm also jealous and hurt by the idea that if a porn star walked into his workplace and offered him a *******, he'd accept. I know it's insane to think about it but I don't really. It creeps up on me and then it's stuck there. All it takes is something that reminds me of it - his computer, his hard drive with his porn, the laptop he takes to work and watches porn on sometimes (he's really bored there), a picture of a woman online, a porn torrent. And yes, I know it's stupid, I know he loves me and he doesn't think about cheating on me, I just know that, despite all this pain and jealousy I feel. I cry a lot because of it and it's tiring. These thoughts take my brain hostage and I can't use it for the wonderful things this world has to offer. I'm actually, or was at least, very creative. I write and I've been to competitions and many people liked my work and I love to write, but when these thoughts creep up on me - I'm done for. Can't do a thing. Just feel all alone and abandoned. It's just that relationships seem fake to me when I look at them from a man's perspective. Isn't it in their nature to want to have sex with as many woman as they can and spread their seed? So I feel like I'm trapping him and that he'll never be as happy with me as he would be if he were free. It would all be solved if I could just let him be free, but I can't. I think a big part of the problem is the fact that I'm 19 and he's 27 and well, I'm too dependent on him. I know all these things and still, I'm haunted by these thoughts every day. I look at him and I know he loves me but it's just not enough for my heart. I need more. And more I cannot get. I guess the purpose of this question is to ease my soul a bit by saying it all and not burdening anyone or getting into discussions. I wonder if there are more people who feel like this? Is there a way to deal with this? I talked with my boyfriend but since it's all stupid, we only end up fighting because my pain is without a solution. Even if he erased all his porn, I'd still think how he must want to download and watch it and how he must be watching it on the internet behind my back and so on. It's without solution. Talking won't help because he isn't doing anything wrong. Ignoring it doesn't help either, keeping myself busy works for a while but I can't be busy ALL the time and that's what it would take to get rid of this. Therapy won't help either because I'm also aware that the pain is because I didn't get enough attention from my mom when I was little so now I need so much of it from my boyfriend. So tell me, how do I go about this without going completely insane or giving up on everything?

  • Answer:

    Just calm down ! you look like you have a lot, literally a lot in your head going around at the same time. It is not really good because the more you think the more you end up dig up irrelevant things which may not a thing in common to what you think. Read new books, socialize,learn something which you like ( if you like music you can learn a instrument and jam with friends ). Come on, you have to know that if you don't pull yourself from this state of mind you will probably end up insane ! jealousy is just a state of mind which can be eradicated by sheer will and support !! I used to have issues with people for no reason and used to get paranoid (sometimes i still do ) now i kinda depend on myself for support no externals :) hope that helped. Andy

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Hi sweet age has nothing to do with it don't panic! I knw ur feeling trust me my fella gets accusations, questions sarcasm 24 7 he's used to it now like but it pushes him away a lot, its insecurities and jealousy ur not happy with urself so u think y shud he be n everyone else is better than u to urself so u think they must be to u. Porn.. I do not agree with if ur happy with ur partner u shudnt need it my partner neva watchs it infact he deleted the channels off our tv! He even turns away at a sex scene on a film! Anyone would think he bats for the other team! Its just his way of being loyal. If he can't touch them it can't hurt, but last thing u wana feel is 2nd best or unwanted n to feel like its ova someone else n not u. If talkin doesn't work try anti depressants called lopfrepramine, or howeva u spell it. I take them and they make me far more relaxed than I was I still question things but never stress, accuse or kik off anymore. It sounds daunting bt they help. He wouldn't b with u If he didn't like or love u. I get exactly the same tho, ur not alone, but u need to learn to trust him cause u will end up pushin him away. N u dno wat uve got till u lose it. I've learnt that but thankfully my fella n I gave it another go if I took them pills. They've been a godsend, they take about 4 weeks to start taking affect, but do kick in well. 70mg per tablet 3 a day the insecurities will still b there for that time but once they kick in they'll slowly drift off and ull b more chilled, if ur nethin like me u won't go to bed till he does just incase e watches porn when ur asleep! Lol. I used to b like that. Hope this helps x

well, the major reason why he, like most guys, watch porn has nothing to do with the idea of being attracted to someone else more than you. it is because of an attraction that has to do with mental manipulation. I have heard from countless women who think that they must not be good enough, other-wise why would he be looking at other women on porn. some women know that they are beautiful, attractive and some know that they are stunning, and so they are really puzzled. something else is going on entirely. the reason why most men watch porn has little to do with them looking for an attractive girl that interests them. no it is because they are being severely affected, mentally impacted by the tricks they use in various sexual presentations to give them a mental high, which they experience as a sexual high. and further more know that you're lucky to get this info. people are suffering silently like yourself, so tell everyone the true Nature of the Problem, point them to the solution manual & website, mentioned after my answer, and tell them to tell others. I used to be intensely into watching porn, and I overcame it. if i can anyone can overcome this problem. Nature of Problem: Mind manipulation: various sexual presentations are filled with numerous very strong impactful mind altering manipulations. The viewer has no chance to defend themselves. The viewer is delivered a powerful mental high, which is experienced as a powerful sexual high. The book reveals the manipulations, explaining how the mind works, and detailing how to free the mind from these cunning deceptions.

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