How do I help my friend be more mature and less selfish?

My friend is depressed, how can I help her?

• Basically my friend was on top and now has hit what she believes to be rock bottom. During her last semester of undergrad, this guy showed interest in her and even though she had doubts and didn't really like him, she gave him a try anyways. He must have made a good first impression because they ended up spending a lot of time together. My friend was always indecisive and saw him as a good catch if only he would change certain things. She was honest (probably too honest) about her opinions of him and even though he loved her, he did vindictive things to her to get back at her for basically bashing certain things about him. Meanwhile, she had a friend who she was brushing off due to unspoken issues she had with her. They would speak sometimes on campus but it was always just "hi and bye." Fast-forward to her graduation in may and she decides to try and squash things between her and the friend she felt wronged by. She took pictures with the girl at graduation and everything seemed fine. So my friend emailed the girl after graduation to finally discuss the issues and this is when all hell broke lose. The friend she was trying to mend things with, totally spazzed out and got angry with my friend for taking so long to discuss things. The girl ended up calling my friend's romantic interest to vent about my friend. It was bad timing because when she sent the letter, she was going through an argument with the guy she was dating. So the guy she was dating and her ex friend ended up talking on the phone and bashing my friend, comparing stories about her. My friend and the guy she was dating made up, of course, but now he's super close with her ex friend. They are no longer dating but she is really bothered that her ex friend and ex romantic interest are now closer than ever. They skype, talk on the phone, and text often. He claims they are just friends but my friend is so distraught because she got dissed after trying to give her ex friend a second chance and now she feels super defeated because both of the situations basically got turned upside down. Advice for her?

• Answer:

  she just needs to let things go and u need to be there for her its a rough time for her... try to get her mind off of it by going to the movies or playing some type of game.... talk to her about it when she wants to talk about it. just let her know that ur there for her always through good and bad. if she doesnt want to hangout then call her every night she might not say much but deep down and inside she really appreciates and knows that u care.