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What is Social Anxiety Disorder?

Social anxiety disorder has destroyed my life. what should I do?

  • I'm a college sophomore and social phobia has pretty much prevented me from having anything close to a normal life. I have no friends, and no one to talk to; I literally have just five contacts on my phone and they're all family members. It makes me feel so lonely to see my peers effortlessly making friends, going to parties, and dating, while I cant even muster up the courage to say "hello." When I was a freshman I lived in the dorms, and ate in the cafeteria like everyone else, but spent my time hiding in my room and sitting alone. When i'm around other people I can try to make conversation like my life depends on it, but no matter what I do I always panic and my mind goes blank and my body goes stiff. I cant think of anything to say or force any words out. Even when I forced myself to sit with other people as much as I wanted to relax and make friends, my body wouldn't stop shaking, the world felt like it was spinning, and my mind wouldn't let me focus on anything but fear. My entire Freshman year I kept telling myself that if I kept trying and kept exposing myself to people my anxiety would go down. I kept trying but it never got any easier. I tried to talk to people but no matter how hard I tried or what I told myself socializing still felt like sandpaper on exposed nerves. the fear is intense. being in a room full of people it feels like the silence in a horror movie before the character opens a door knowing something horrible will jump out, and confrontations with people feel almost like my life is being threatened. I know that these levels of fear are irrational, and as hard as I try to talk myself out of them I cant stop myself; no matter what I do the dread comes over me, and when I try to talk I get hit by a wave of terror. Even when I can overcome this fear and talk to a person, my sense of accomplishment is involuntarily flooded with doubt and insecurity that I said the wrong thing, and then more fear. Even with the knowledge that I overcame it even once my anxiety wont let me enjoy this small victory, so when I try to talk to the person again it's just as hard as before. Having social anxiety doesn't make me anti-social, and being alone doesn't make me happy. I want to have friends like any other college student, but the anxiety I feel around other people makes social interaction so stressful it's almost unbearable and leaves me completely drained and exhausted. Now as a sophomore I live alone, and really only come out to buy groceries and go to class. I'm very lonely but I'm at the point where I would choose to be lonely over being scared, because at this point I'm too afraid of people to enjoy their company. At this point I recognize that I need help, but my symptoms have spun so out of control and that I feel overwhelmed by them and have no idea where to begin. i'm on a steady path to becoming a hermit, and this anxiety is ruining my life, but I don't know what to do. I cant see the future having anything positive in store for me when i'm too afraid to form even a basic sentence and verbalize it. help?

  • Answer:

    Smoke pot.

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"When i'm around other people I can try to make conversation like my life depends on it" That's the first part of your problem. You try too hard; remember you're a great person. It sounds to me like you have a low impression of yourself. If you don't realise the good things you do, you need to start recording them (no matter how small) to remind yourself. Or take the stance that there are bad things people do that you don't, and that makes you better than them. On this, remind yourself "why wouldn't that girl want to talk to me?" and if they don't, it's their problem, don't make it yours. Find someone else you like and move on. Another possibility is people pick up on your fear, and in return don't know how to respond to it. Now let's look at this fear - my mum bless her, taught me a great way to deal with fear. It's all about how you direct your focus. Next time you feel really really scared, think of something else. Something that makes you feel good or happy - even interested will do. The stars and moon, a pretty flower, the person you admire most, a favourite poem or song. Keep your focus on that rather than whatever is scaring you. It's not easy to master - practise is everything. The only way you can master this is by facing your fear. Even talk to the person you're scared about what you're thinking about. Good luck!

Velvetlotus

listen to chucky lol....but i would say find a group or a club that is about one of your hobbies so conversations flow easily ....when ur doing something u enjoy u dont worry about the little things as much

theycallmeToborisRex

Velvet is right, sometimes when you are fearful of people, others can easily pick up on your uneasiness which makes them uneasy around you in return. I'm not saying you are a bad person and no one wants to be around you but if you don't feel happy about yourself, how do you expect others to be happy around you? We as humans, especially us with SA don't realize the energy we put out will return back to us. With that being said, I understand your problem as I can relate to most of what you are saying. Except I enjoy my time alone oppose to being around a lot of people. I'm glad to know you think those feelings are irrational, now instead of wanting friends or trying to fit in badly, how about start working on yourself first? You cannot gain what you want to happen successfully unless you start working on your thinking pattern. You need to start being happy with being you. I bet you are thinking, "what's so great about me, I am a loner, friendless, etc" and if these are your thoughts, you need to replace them with positive ones. There is something about you that is great so write down a list that makes you great and wonderful and what loved ones like about you. Don't compare your list to those who you feel is "better" or very social, because you will fall right back in the hole of self defeat. Don't try hard to be like others that you forget you are an unique individual and should work with what YOU got. Keep in mind everyone in this world has some kind of fear or issue. Some may be worse than others but understand no one is perfect. Not even the kids on your campus who appear to be happy and talkative and surrounded around bunch of people. You don't know what's going on in some of these people lives despite their outward personality, hell some can put on a act and you don't even know it! It's amazing what you can find out about someone when talking one and one to them, take it from me, I experience this first hand because the person I know is so personable, extroverted, and friendly and the things revealed to me how they felt inside was a eye opener. It's all about developing confidence in yourself. Trust that you are fine and normal as everyone else, although you are quiet. Have trust in yourself that even when you fall, you can get back up again. Take pride of the best qualities you possess and also do positive affirmations daily. Look in the mirror and say, "I love me", "I have confidence", "people like me for who I am". Once you say this daily, even on those days you feel crappy, continue to fill your mind with these thoughts and within time, you will start to believe it. Accept that it will take time for this disorder to go away as you need to de-clutter all those negative opinions in your mind. Also talk to someone who will listen to you so they can offer feedback. It will help to clear things off your chest I'm sorry for this long post, but I genuinely hope become better.

ranay

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