Anyone know any good smoking games?

I know something is wrong with me mentally but i cant let anyone i know, know.?

• -- This might look long but please read it will only take a minute----(I dont want to tell my parents or anyone that could tell my parents because i dont want them to freak out and worry. I know my mom would for sure) This may seem complicated to some people, hopefully not. Im 18 years old about to be 19. Male. Since i can remember this problem has been going on. I feel like my mind and my way of thinking is drastically different than other peoples. I say this because it's almost like i know the answer or truth but can't perform the "action" to help myself. (NO, Not killing myself!). The problem i have, has become something that ive gotten used to and almost seems to be NORMAL now. That really bothers me.. Anyways the background and problem: When i was younger, about 5 or more years ago i remember i was always the loud and funny one in class. Most guys and girls liked me and my confidence was at the top. I was motivated and caring. I loved spending time with people, and just getting out and doing things. NOW though, i can hardly say that any of these things revolve around my life. I just stopped smoking weed yesterday, and i dont know if that is the contributing factor to my problem. Im suspecting it could be a possible chance. I have smoked for at least 5 years without quiting. For the past years my typical day is this: wake up/shower, play video games or go on the internet, guitar, or do other things in my room. (Of couse i get out of my room and go eat, go to the store, college, or other places i need to go) I do hang out with my friends but only a select few and like once a week at the max. I do have a job but im not counting this as something i GO OUT and do because i HAVE to go there. Confusing problem: I know im an attractive guy and that almost any girl would say im good looking...but if thats the case, and it is, why do i feel insecure and self concious in public a lot of the time? I know what people will say to that... i have a bad self image. But I KNOW im attractive...yet i still think that way. Im not just self concious about looks but also how i act and the kind of person i come across to people. The person i am in the inside is the most caring and loving person that anyone could probably ever meet. I know i dont come across this way in actuality. I feel that if i were to show others my kindness and let them see the real person i am, they wouldnt think i was a "cool" guy and girls dont like the "nice guy". Self image and how i come across is very important to me. But just like my other problems, i know that any guy or girl who would treat me poorly beause i was too kind and caring arent people i should care about anyways. So why do i still feel that way? I know that it shouldnt matter what other people think of me if its negative but i let it affect me. Is it because i really do care about other people typically more than the usual person and because of that i highly value their opinions of me? ( I highly value mine too). I personally love myself but i still worry about how others think about me. When it comes to motivation, I know i should get out, do things, talk to people, enjoy life and new events. But being isolated in my room really isn't that bad anymore. I actually enjoy being alone now. At the same time though, another part of me wants to get out, meet new people, explore new places..live an exciting life! Because i know i would be a lot happier, and it would open so many new opportunites for me. Thats what i want... But for some reason i just cant get my self to do all of these things. Like i said, its as if i know the answer but just cant get myself to do it. How can i believe that i'm attractive, but be worried about my looks most of the time in public? Or how is it that i know i should change the way i live my life, but remain living the same lifestyle ? Even though i pationately want to change... Is this some type of mental disorder or issue? Is it because of the way i was raised?: My parents have deffinately babied me and let me off the hook for things that the usual parent wouldnt.. if i wanted something i usually would get it, no problem...and i feel thats the reason i dont value things as much as other people do. The very confident people my age always seem to be the same people who lived much harder lifes than i ever did and they had to struggle.. Could this be the problem?

• Answer:

  From just this paragraph, I'm sure anything could be ' the problem,' but it sounds like something most people go through. Have you ever been treated for anxiety? Although everyone is self conscious & worrisome of what others think, having it keep you from normally functioning in society could be a chemical imbalance, leaving you to feel more anxious about these everyday feelings. What you describe sounds exactly like all my friends who are treated by Xanax, Valium etc. It could be something that's fixed with healthy eating & exercise or you may need therapy to overcome it (I'm not a doctor nor can I fully judge based on a few sentences) I don't think you're going to get the answer or help you need on Yahoo! Answers, but I wish you the best!