Why do people always blame mistakes on failures rather than just admit, it wasn't meant to be?

Mann You answered your own question! Lol but i understand where your coming from. Some people have the tendency to blame themselves or others for previous failures, but that's something a person has to learn how to get over by themselves.

I believe it's human nature to search for "reasons" behind outcomes. We are rational beings, and therefore we seek rational answers. It is much more rational to conclude "there was a fault somewhere in the plan" than to admit "it wasn't meant to be." It may even cause some disequlibrium in the brain! Our brains just naturally search to organize our emotions and the events around us. However, it also has to do with the individual. One person may simply be able to blame it on bad luck, other may looks for a specific area where things got screwed up, and other may not care at all. This deals with our "Locus of control." There are those who have an "internal locus of control" which are those who try to search for an answer within reach, something they can find and physically change themselves. Then there are those who have "external locus of control" which are probably those who just think "oh well it wasn't meant to be." In short: it's natural to search for a reason behind events, however it also depends on the individual! It's all about what makes YOU happy :)

You mean if I fail 8th grade... It wasn't meant for me to be a high school graduate? I suppose to drop out? Yeah if you like someone, but that person doesn't want you.... yeah... it wasn't meant to be... because that person doesn't find you attractive or see you as a fun type person... you didn't fail at that at all... just need to find someone who will like you back.

Because it's taking responsibility while keeping hope alive. Everyone fails at one time or another. But we shouldn't equate it with destiny. I think that particular idea is a cop-out and a escape from responsibility. It's true not everyone can be successful....but it shouldn't hinder us from trying any more. 'Oh, I failed. It must be destiny. I might as well quit and go kill myself '. It sounds like giving up...not coming to terms with your potential.

Unless you literally believe in fate or destiny, saying "it wasn't meant to be" is a rationalization and a kind of self-deception. It's right up there with exclaiming "I must have had an angel on my shoulder!" had things gone your way instead. If you begin the day with a love interest or a new task and you end the day with the realization that you weren't as interested or talented as you thought you might be, you've learned something important about yourself. Tomorrow will probably be better because you can choose not to repeat the same patterns that brought you frustration and unhappiness. Saying "I failed at this, or I looked at it more closely and saw it wasn't all that great, and now I'll move on to something else, and I'm better off that way" is more accurate than saying "it wasn't meant to be." There's two sides to the coin: opportunity and regret. Sometimes we're better off emphasizing the opportunity for personal growth. On the other hand, sometimes we need to admit that we made terrible mistakes that should not be repeated. If you vandalize the school cafeteria and are banned from prom, you shouldn't shrug and say "it wasn't meant to be" or "I'm better off not going to prom--now I can have my own party instead." You should realize that you made a mistake that could have had even worse consequences and you need to be a lot more careful in the future. To clarify your question, look more closely at the way you've phrased it. Your question title uses the phrase "blame mistakes on failures" while your detailed explanations uses the phrase "blame failures on poor choices." Is "failure" the explanation or the thing that needs explaining? Get more specific and more consistent and you'll get better answers.

I don't believe in "meant to be's." The world is not predetermined. If you have a crush on someone, but they don't want to be with you, it's not because of some predetermined "not meant to be," it's because of the person you have a crush on's choice of not wanting to go out with you. A mistake is defined as a fault in one's action or judgment. Mistakes ARE, by definition, choices. For instance, I got an 82% on an economics exam today (and yes, I was disappointed with that.) Was it meant to be that I would get an 82%? No, of course not. It was because I did not study hard enough. I realize a lot of the reasons why I got some of them wrong and I could have realized that before the exam if I studied harder and spoke to my professor about the topics that confused me. If I tried to run for president but lost the election, it is because in that election cycle the voters chose to support that person over me, not because of some predestined "meant to be" type of force. It could have been because of some kind of scandal, poor campaigning, or that the political atmosphere was not good for me. If we decide something is "not meant to be," that means we have decided that we no longer want to pursue that because it would take too much effort that we do not want to put forward, or that the decisions of others are going to prevent it. For instance, the only reason I feel I am not meant to be a physics major is because I really started to not like science this semester and I chose for it to not be meant for me. We need to set lofty goals for ourselves so that we may attain lower, more realistic goals by putting our best effort forward. Not everyone is going to be as successful as they want, but we all can achieve a lot in life.

Unless you literally believe in fate or destiny, saying "it wasn't meant to be" is a rationalization and a kind of self-deception. It's right up there with exclaiming "I must have had an angel on my shoulder!" had things gone your way instead. If you begin the day with a love interest or a new task and you end the day with the realization that you weren't as interested or talented as you thought you might be, you've learned something important about yourself. Tomorrow will probably be better because you can choose not to repeat the same patterns that brought you frustration and unhappiness. Saying "I failed at this, or I looked at it more closely and saw it wasn't all that great, and now I'll move on to something else, and I'm better off that way" is more accurate than saying "it wasn't meant to be." There's two sides to the coin: opportunity and regret. Sometimes we're better off emphasizing the opportunity for personal growth. On the other hand, sometimes we need to admit that we made terrible mistakes that should not be repeated. If you vandalize the school cafeteria and are banned from prom, you shouldn't shrug and say "it wasn't meant to be" or "I'm better off not going to prom--now I can have my own party instead." You should realize that you made a mistake that could have had even worse consequences and you need to be a lot more careful in the future. To clarify your question, look more closely at the way you've phrased it. Your question title uses the phrase "blame mistakes on failures" while your detailed explanations uses the phrase "blame failures on poor choices." Is "failure" the explanation or the thing that needs explaining? Get more specific and more consistent and you'll get better answers.

I don't believe in "meant to be's." The world is not predetermined. If you have a crush on someone, but they don't want to be with you, it's not because of some predetermined "not meant to be," it's because of the person you have a crush on's choice of not wanting to go out with you. A mistake is defined as a fault in one's action or judgment. Mistakes ARE, by definition, choices. For instance, I got an 82% on an economics exam today (and yes, I was disappointed with that.) Was it meant to be that I would get an 82%? No, of course not. It was because I did not study hard enough. I realize a lot of the reasons why I got some of them wrong and I could have realized that before the exam if I studied harder and spoke to my professor about the topics that confused me. If I tried to run for president but lost the election, it is because in that election cycle the voters chose to support that person over me, not because of some predestined "meant to be" type of force. It could have been because of some kind of scandal, poor campaigning, or that the political atmosphere was not good for me. If we decide something is "not meant to be," that means we have decided that we no longer want to pursue that because it would take too much effort that we do not want to put forward, or that the decisions of others are going to prevent it. For instance, the only reason I feel I am not meant to be a physics major is because I really started to not like science this semester and I chose for it to not be meant for me. We need to set lofty goals for ourselves so that we may attain lower, more realistic goals by putting our best effort forward. Not everyone is going to be as successful as they want, but we all can achieve a lot in life.

Mann You answered your own question! Lol but i understand where your coming from. Some people have the tendency to blame themselves or others for previous failures, but that's something a person has to learn how to get over by themselves.