Can someone help edit my english short story?

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The miracle on the Hudson crash landing served only to reinforce my fear of flying. By the time I checked my luggage in, went through security and headed for the passengers lounge for the short hop flight to JFK my nerves were on high alert. Thankfully Jeremy, my 2 year old, slept quietly on my shoulder through all the formalities until we boarded and found our seats in the coach section of the plane. He even slept through being strapped in to the child's seat that the stewardess provided but woke up cranky and fussing as the planes engines powered up. Shortly after takeoff we ran into turbulence. It was as though someone was determined to make my life as difficult as possible by throwing every negative thing about flying into the mix. The atmosphere began trickling into the surreal when I noticed the passenger in the seat ahead of mine sneaking peeks in my direction. It entered total unreality when he leapt from his seat, grabbed a stewardess and held a box cutter to her throat. "This plane and the infidels in it will all be destroyed." he screamed in heavily accented english. "You must all die by the will of allah!" He started backing toward the front of the cabin, half dragging the terrified stewardess and continuing his rant. On reaching the door to the cockpit he kicked it and demanded to be let in. There was complete silence for what seemed like an eternity and then the door slowly began to open. The crazed knife wielding hijacker flung the stewardess aside and lunged for the cockpit door, ripping it open. The co-pilot calmly blocked the hijackers path, raised his pistol and shot the man through the head. Looking at the lifeless body laying on the floor of the plane he said in a low voice..."Didn't they tell you at terrorist school to never bring a knife to a gunfight bubba?" As the passengers burst into a spontaneous round of applause the co-pilot touched the brim of his hat, smiled slightly and gave a little nod to the crowd. He closed the door to the cockpit and the flight resumed as if nothing had happened.

Below is my edit. In general, there were parts that were written the same way you speak. That will not do. You need to improve punctuation, particularly to separate sentences, for possessive cases of nouns and the use of commas. I changed some paragraphs by moving some sentences. Small numbers should be written out. The last paragraph is a bit unbelievable, especially since there would be flight crew and other passengers aboard. They would not be oblivious to a commotion like you described. What happened to the bomb in the washroom? Is that the one that exploded in the last sentence? Were you still on the plane and your son descending by parachute? Also, parachutes open by pulling a cord, not pressing a button. You would have to jump with him and likely would be able to hold him to ride down with your chute, assuming that you and he were able to exit the plane. **************************************..... I was nervous while entering the airport. I had my suitcase securely beside me and my three-year old son, Jeremy, was fast asleep on my shoulders. This was my first plane ride in ten years as I have always had a fear of flying. I walked over to the T-belt and set both our suitcases inside it. I breezed through security and began to board the plane. From the inside, nothing seemed scary or unusual about this plane. I had business-class tickets so I walked over to that section and we sat down. By now, Jeremy was awake and cranky. The plane's engines soon started and we began to take off for New York. It was a dark and stormy night so there was a lot of turbulence. I began to get a bit scared, and it didn’t help that the man in front of me kept craning his neck and eyeballing me. The flight soon became more starnge. The man in front of me, named Gary, kept using the bathroom every five minutes. The last time he did so, I saw him slip something small and dark into his pocket. When he looked up and saw that I had noticed, he winked. He proceeded to talk in a low voice on the airplane phone and I tried to eavesdrop. “Yes, yes, I placed it in the bathroom sink in between folds of toilet paper”, he said. I gasped and he noticed. I couldn’t help myself and ran to the bathroom beating him by a few seconds and sparing his hand being broken as I quickly closed the door. I opened the cupboard and started looking for what might be hidden there. “Aha”, I exclaimed as I spotted it, a watch with a black box and a timer indicating thirty seconds on it. Suddenly it was all clear. This man was a plane hijacker and what I had in my hand was a bomb. My brain was on stand-by. I couldn’t think and I burst through the door and ran at the speed of light to grab Jeremy. I fastened him to a parachute and told him to press the button while throwing him out of the plane. That’s when everything went wrong. A small bomb exploded and parts of the plane were breaking off.

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