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How do I deal with an overly assertive and outgoing co-worker?

How do I deal with an overly friendly coworker?

  • Ten months ago I started working at a hotel as a front desk agent and the maintenance guy befriended me. At first he was just like a normal coworker, but after about a month he started calling me during my shifts when he wasn't at work. He also began asking me to come over and hang out a lot. (I've never agreed to hang out with him outside of work, nor have I ever called him.) He never acted this way towards any of the other staff here, and actually is quite closed off and rude to most people. Lately now, he has began leaving me a lot of notes and sometimes even gifts waiting for me at my desk when i get to work. I have no idea how to respond to something like this. I've had the general manager talk to him once already, but that only stopped things temporarily. When I am not at work he tells the other staff that me and him are best friends and we're like brothers. He even tried to talk me into moving in with him a few times. I feel bad because he might just be a lonely guy with no friends, but on the other hand I am really uncomfortable at work now, and I am not sure how to handle things. Oh, by the way, I am a 25 yr old male, and the maintenance guy is a 50 yr old male.

  • Answer:

    This isn't a good situation. Do you think he's gay or just very lonely? Either way, it doesn't matter all that much. Gay or straight, the guy sounds extraordinarily lonely and he's expecting you to fill way too much of the emptiness for him. I've had situations like this and here's what I've learned. When this stuff would happen, I would try to hold off doing something because I hate the idea of hurting someone. However, every time went that route, the person got to be such a problem for me that it ended badly. People this lonely and insecure always get themselves hurt. ALWAYS. It NEVER ends well. I would talk to your general manager again. This has to be stopped. It really does. I appreciate you being a sympathetic person. I am, too, but I learned the hard way that to extend a relationship with a needy, often troubled person just doesn't work out. Sad. Really is.

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This isn't a good situation. Do you think he's gay or just very lonely? Either way, it doesn't matter all that much. Gay or straight, the guy sounds extraordinarily lonely and he's expecting you to fill way too much of the emptiness for him. I've had situations like this and here's what I've learned. When this stuff would happen, I would try to hold off doing something because I hate the idea of hurting someone. However, every time went that route, the person got to be such a problem for me that it ended badly. People this lonely and insecure always get themselves hurt. ALWAYS. It NEVER ends well. I would talk to your general manager again. This has to be stopped. It really does. I appreciate you being a sympathetic person. I am, too, but I learned the hard way that to extend a relationship with a needy, often troubled person just doesn't work out. Sad. Really is.

LostInCalifornia

its sounds like this guy is trying to step on you because youre being nice to him. id just start being a dick to him.

Whoa...be careful about this one....Just say.."I did not tell you, but I do have a boyfriend."...he should back off...say.."i cannot accept the gifts, but thank you. As i have said...I have a boyfriend."...If he still does NOT back off...notify personal...that is a bit much i would say. See he is 50...oh brother....Some men Just do not get it. Tooo thick headed!!!

It isn't normal behavior for a 50 year old, especially the gifts. I had the same thing happen to me with a much older man and then came the marriage proposal, yikes, watch out!

Wow he sounds creepy. Do you think he may be a closeted homosexual? Not that makes a big difference. I think you did the right thing by reporting it to the manager, maybe tell the manager again?

Tell him that if he doesn't stop you will file harassment charges against him. His actions are not wanted nor encouraged so you would have a claim. Also the manager has spoken to him once so he can back you up on the claim. No one has to put up with this type of behavior. Refuse the gifts and notes.

Tell him that if he doesn't stop you will file harassment charges against him. His actions are not wanted nor encouraged so you would have a claim. Also the manager has spoken to him once so he can back you up on the claim. No one has to put up with this type of behavior. Refuse the gifts and notes.

C C

It isn't normal behavior for a 50 year old, especially the gifts. I had the same thing happen to me with a much older man and then came the marriage proposal, yikes, watch out!

Bibigirl

Wow he sounds creepy. Do you think he may be a closeted homosexual? Not that makes a big difference. I think you did the right thing by reporting it to the manager, maybe tell the manager again?

Miss 6

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