Are there any really great views in Philadelphia?

What are your views on gay saunas for meeting guys?

• Well I went twice now for the experience, I just feel so wrong inside, so immoral. Most gay saunas are really used for is sex. But yet all I hear from people is how great it is having sex with 5 different guys. It just does not turn me on in the slightest. I have concluded that I would much rather prefer passionate sex with someone where there are feelings involved. When I have had this opportunity it is so much better, I feel connected to the other person and it's not dirty. I mentioned my views on gay saunas being dirty to one or two guys and they got really defensive. The problem is that I internalize alot of my self confidence, self worth, from what others say and external factors. So I don't know how to feel, seeing all those dirty men being sexual with each other felt so wrong and didn't turn me on at all tbh. Is this normal? Am I normal? Because what I'm being told is sex sex sex sex... How can anyone in there right mind think that a place where you specifically go to for the aim of orgy type sex is acceptable? I guess it's their immature subjectivity. The people working there were like yeah it gets really really busy here all the guys from gay clubs flock here, but the thing is that I was there till 3am today and yes it was busy but not that busy, there were a few mediocre attractive people but most were not. However most guys there were saying that oh my God we get some really stunningly fit guys come here, I didn't see any at all. The only guy I met there was one guy who was an architect who I really liked. His personality was so soft so caring so nice, and I kinda lost my virginity to him because of this. I regret not taking his number, but who in there right mind goes to gay saunas? Like you must be that desperate to look for sex there, I'm not really a particularly thirsty sexual individual, but maybe it's because I've had passionate loving sex. I guess guys who don't get any male attention, anyone hitting on them, or any crushes go to these places for sex. I even mentioned to the worker there that I'm going to stick to passionate sex with people where there are feelings involved. Where it's an act of love and care and desire all in one, it's so special, feels so right inside. I get alot of guys liking me because I am considered quiet attractive by most people, but the problem is that at my age 19, most gay guys have not accepted their sexuality and have their own issues. It's just so hard sometimes craving someone who wants me more than just looks. But I guess the guys who like me or have a crush on me are potential partners. 10 minutes ago And anyone who says it's a safe place for men bla bla well a brothel is a safe place for payed sex too, where men can go who don't want commitments or anything, does that make it right or morally correct? No it does not. I guess guys who don't get any male attention, anyone hitting on them, or any crushes go to these places for sex. I even mentioned to the worker there that I'm going to stick to passionate sex with people where there are feelings involved. Where it's an act of love and care and desire all in one, it's so special, feels so right inside. I get alot of guys liking me because I am considered quiet attractive by most people, but the problem is that at my age 19, most gay guys have not accepted their sexuality and have their own issues. It's just so hard sometimes craving someone who wants me more than just looks. But I guess the guys who like me or have a crush on me are potential partners. 10 minutes ago And anyone who says it's a safe place for men bla bla well a brothel is a safe place for payed sex too, where men can go who don't want commitments or anything, does that make it right or morally correct? No it does not.

• Answer:

  Wow, I could have written that! You mirror my views entirely. Years ago I went a few times to a sauna, enjoyed the experience of sitting around naked with guys, but had no enthusiasm for messing about. Now a days gay saunas have all sorts of contraptions and rooms designed for sexual activities. That's ok for those who want it and as long as the sauna promotes safe sex and hands out condoms and stuff. But for me, give me sex with passion and some meaning. Casual one off sex leaves me cold and unfulfilled. Sadly I'm far from your age otherwise we might match. But stay with your values and you'll have a better quality of life. Good luck and stay safe.