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Help! Trouble with mom and her boyfriend?

• No mean, rude, or unnecessary comments. Please. I already feel worse enough. Here's what happened.... So my parents are getting a divorce in about 2 months. My dad hasn't lived with us for about a year and a half or so. My mom always says that she doesn't have a boyfriend whenever I ask her but I already knew she did because she's left her email open and stuff. But she always made excuses for it and I don't know why, but I believed it. But now I know for an absolute fact that she is. Here's how... I know this was wrong of me, but I'm kind of glad that I did this because I really need to talk to her about this. This would be the third time that we've had one of those talks of me thinking she had a boyfriend (which she really did) and it was filled with me crying and my mom lying and making up excuses about everything, which I believed. Anyway, she went to the bank today and left her phone on the counter and it was so tempting for me to look through her text messages because she would literally get about 60 texts per day so I was really suspicious. Anyway, I read messages from the guy who I thought was her boyfriend all along and I saw them saying things to each other like "I want you", "No, I want you more", "I want to see you sooooooooooo bad" "I would pin you down so hard", "Hey sexy, wanna see eachother" "Hey babe. How's your day", "Goodnight sweetie, I love you so ******* much" "No, I love you soooooo much more", etc. First off, it sickens me because she's like 47 which is old enough, but not only that. HE'S 30!!! Second off, it made me sad because it's so hard to picture her with anyone else other than my dad and it made me cry for hours today. I even cut myself all over my arms and legs for the first time. Cuts still burning and I'm trying to hide them from my mom. My mom knows that somethings wrong but she just doesn't know what it is. She thought I was sick at first because I was so sad that I was laying in bed all day, I've been in my pajamas all day and still am, and I didn't shower today either. I look like ****. Wearing glasses, not contacts. She knows it's not like me. I told her I was tired which was really not the truth. I also saw texts from her to him saying "I need to get jac (my nickname) off my ***" and he said something to her like "Let's go out tonight" and of course, she lied and said that she was going out with her friend Liz, when it's really him. She's out about 5 days a week and obviously, she's not with friends, she's with him every time. I've seen texts to her friends saying "If jac asks or anything, say we're at the mall together" and stuff like that. It really breaks my heart that she cares about him more than me, she's seeing someone else and doesn't even care how I react, and she lies about it. Which is the worst of them all. I want to talk to her to let her know that I know all of this but I don't want her to be mad at me that I looked through her texts and stuff because I've done this two other times before. One with her email, one with her Facebook, and today, her text messages. Please help! I don't want her to be mad at me, but I want her to know that I looked through them all and read them all and that I know that she's been lying to me everyday and that I feel like she cares about him more than me, etc. Please help! Best answer!!!

• Answer:

  First-- please, please don't cut yourself again. It's obvious that you're hurting, and I'm sorry for that. This is a rough time-- the family that you've known all your life is ending and (understandably) you're not ready to let go. But your mom is-- and has been for some time. She's keeping her boyfriend a secret because she doen't want you to hurt more than you are. But now that secret is out-- and she needs to know that you know. One way to approach it is this: ask her directly if there is anything she wants to tell you. When she acts puzzled or pulls the "I don't know what you mean" response, tell her that you get the feeling that she's seeing someone. It sounds like you need to have a serious conversation with her about how you feel and where you're at with things; however, keep in mind that she is free to date and the only thing she's doing wrong is not telling you (and again, I'm sure she has a reason). Best of luck to you.