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What can we do differently?

What can I do differently to live free from the sin of addiction?

  • I'm so tired of living like a hypocrite. I am a pornography addict. I have been for probably a decade and a half. On and off of course. The longest I've been free is just over three years. I hate living like this. I know what the Bible says about lust after someone other than your spouse - and I believe it. I have read the entire Bible, searching for answers to this issue, but even when I think I've found the answers I fail anyways and fall back into the same old sin. I've prayed, sought God, stuck with it, done everything I know to. Every time I think something is changing, it doesn't. I have tried asking for help. Nearly a year ago I confessed my sins almost publicly. I told my wife, my pastor, and my friends. I knew I needed help. The next several weeks were some of the most painful of my life - but my wife eventually came around. She showed me some understanding, but made it clear I could never backslide into this again. I had been clean since I confessed, and I was so disgusted with myself I was certain that wouldn't be a problem. Was I ever wrong. My friends barely offered a word of help. My pastor pointed me to an unreasonablly expensive program called Pure Life Ministries that would have drained our savings to nothing, temporarily removed me from my functions at the time, and virtually let it go. I never took the program because I couldn't afford it. I did well for about three or four months - I can't remember now how long - and then I just fell back in. I don't know why. And I have never made it more than a week or so free since. I don't know where to turn or what to do. I can't tell my wife again after how it went last time. She was supportive only to the degree that she thought I wouldn't do it again. And I guess I don't blame her - she deserves better than this. I have betrayed her trust, and I can't stand myself for it. We have changed churches, and I really don't think I could go to my current Pastor about this either. There are no "Christian Therapists" worth their salt in my area - I live in a rural community, and circumstances would make commuting to another area difficult. I have prayed myself blue in the face. I have tried isolating myself from tempting influences, which is actually near impossible as I've found, at least without withdrawing from society into a near monastic existence, which isn't an option (though if it were, it would be better than this). I have continued to study scripture. I have produced all sorts of studies, in depth, coherant studies that should help me to overcome this addiction. Then I fall flat on my face anyways. I have confessed my sin to God, asked him to wash it away, asked him to change me, acknowledged Jesus for who he is and what he did, and have earnestly desired to know him and walk with him. And I find myself growing more and more distant from him. I feel defeated. I feel exhausted. On one hand, God has without a doubt gone out of his way to keep me from destroying myself in my stupidity. He has delivered me out of alot of bad situations of my own making. And that just points to the core of the problem - I hate most of all that I am dishonoring him after all he has done for me. It turns my stomach. And yet, I seem to do it anyways. I will confess that part of me wants it. But I hate that too. And I don't know how to change it. And even when it seems like all of me has come into a position where it hates that sin, something happens and I find myself back in it again. I cannot bear for this to go on any longer. I probably would have ended my life already if I wasn't convinced of where I would end up going that route. This is not a life worth living - and yet I seem to have no choice. Or if I do, I don't know how to make it. How can I get out of this? How can I break free? What am I missing? What am I doing wrong? How can I do it right? I'm desperate for a real answer - something that tells me something I don't already know. Because with everything I know I'm still a prisoner to this. So I must be missing something. I know that God forgives sin. I know that he forgives mine. And I know that, until Jesus returns, I will never be perfect. There is one itty bitty problem though: Galatians 5:19-21 Now the works of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, depravity, idolatry, sorcery, hostilities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish rivalries, dissensions, factions, envying, murder, drunkenness, carousing, and similar things. I am warning you, as I had warned you before: Those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God! Note that last sentince. (see also 1 Cor. 6:9-10) Salvation is by grace through faith, not by works - but genuine salvation produces works as "fruit". This doesn't mean perfection - but it should mean that I'm not living like the description above (see Gal. 5:24). There is a big difference between being imperfect and wallowing in all-out sin. It is not tolerable in God's eyes according to these passages. And it cannot continue any longer.

  • Answer:

    I used to be addicted to porn, until I read a particular book, and learned about the mind manipulation methods used in porn, and I learned to free myself from their influence by following the methods mentioned in the book. I will address each of your points: You are not a hypocrite. I know it appears that way. but you are not one. silence your mind enough to be able to think clearly. Listen... See if what I amsaying makes sense. 1. It is good to be honest. right? 2.it is good to be a man who can think clearly, as opposed to being confused. right? Notice that when you have stress, when you have guilt, when you feel like you are a hypocrite, when you are frustrated with yourself, notice that each and every of these circumstances disallow you to think clearly. am I right? guilt, stress, frustration, feeling like a hypocrite, etc. any negative emotion stops you from thinking clearly. right? Now I don't know what you are good at, such as fixing cars, or typing or whateer. I am sure you are good at something, whatever that skill is, notice that you do your skill best when you have a clear mind, when your mind is not frustrated, when you are not riddled with guilt. am I right? When you are trying to solve a problem, or a problem, you need all your thinking ability sharp as a tac. Go to the website and talk to the author of the book. he will guide you. If I want to speak to you more, yahoo has limited space.

Oddbill at Yahoo! Answers Visit the source

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Kryten

Kryten

Hi, I am trying to get you this information. Thtat is why I am contacting you using various methods. Ultimately it is up to you to look into the freeing information yourself. I am simply trying to be of help to you, since you speak of your strength of persistence and utter wanting to get your hands on the solution, and you have been asking God for help for the longest time. I as a servent of the One and only god am trying to reach you to share the solution, not only to you, but to everyone who needs it. When your wife asked you to not ever backslide again..that request was unrealistic. that request comes from a person who does not understand the nature of the problem. your friends barely offered a word of help because they do not have the solution to it. an alternative to outrageously expensive programs is an astounding book. you have not betrayed her trust. you are being mentally manipulated without your knowledge. That is why you do not seem to know why you go back-slide. "you confess that parts of you wants it", is a sign of your honesty. Your honesty is very good. it is your honesty that allows you to be in the grips of admitting to yourself that the pornography is powerfully attractive. regarding back-sliding. the series of manipulations are infinite in variety. they all operate based on the concept of contrasts, which is also known as duality. black and white, inside out, up down, contrasting colours, shapes, sizes, patterns, textures, ideas, (such as the contrasting idea of man and woman) the upper section of the body contacting the lower section of the body (contrasts) the idea of sex mistakenly thought of as something unholy and the idea of females as something sweet and innocent (angel-like) (again the idea of contrasts) you see, that the mind is IMPACTED by contrasts. notice that you said, something happens and I find myself back in it again" well the solution is about understanding consciously what is happening. right now you are being affected by the various manipulations that are precviously unknown t oyou, so they affect you subconsciously. by that I mean, that they affect you, without you knowing why. So you must learn these tricks that are used, how your mind works how to be unimpressed by the data fed to your mind there are a few other steps to full recovery, all of which cannot be discussed here becausze of the limited amount of space provided. I have studied many religions. My studies include the teachings of Jesus. a bible verse that would be of help to you is about becoming wise as serpernts. For you to be able to put a stop to being deception, you need to know those deceptions.

Omid Mankoo

I used to be addicted to porn, until I read a particular book, and learned about the mind manipulation methods used in porn, and I learned to free myself from their influence by following the methods mentioned in the book. I will address each of your points: You are not a hypocrite. I know it appears that way. but you are not one. silence your mind enough to be able to think clearly. Listen... See if what I amsaying makes sense. 1. It is good to be honest. right? 2.it is good to be a man who can think clearly, as opposed to being confused. right? Notice that when you have stress, when you have guilt, when you feel like you are a hypocrite, when you are frustrated with yourself, notice that each and every of these circumstances disallow you to think clearly. am I right? guilt, stress, frustration, feeling like a hypocrite, etc. any negative emotion stops you from thinking clearly. right? Now I don't know what you are good at, such as fixing cars, or typing or whateer. I am sure you are good at something, whatever that skill is, notice that you do your skill best when you have a clear mind, when your mind is not frustrated, when you are not riddled with guilt. am I right? When you are trying to solve a problem, or a problem, you need all your thinking ability sharp as a tac. Go to the website and talk to the author of the book. he will guide you. If I want to speak to you more, yahoo has limited space.

Andrew

Your answer is not a magical cure from God. God is NOT going to solve all of your problems. When you pray, you must believe that Jehovah Jaira can and will help. You must also understand that there was one perfect man in this world and the world crucified Him. You are not and cannot be perfect. Jesus died on the cross to save you from these things since you could not save yourself. When you believe in Jesus and confess your sins God will forget that they ever happened. That is the beauty of God's grace. Your prayers may not receive immediate answers but that is because Jesus wants to have a working living relationship with you. You are forgiven but he will provide you with the assets over time to conquer your demons. Never forget that during this journey, even with your setbacks, He is with you and has forgiven you. Stand tall, as you are a living member of Jehovahs royal family. You are victorious thru Jesus Christ of Nazareth. We all have our own problems and as believers have to make our own journey. That is what Jesus meant when he said "pick up your cross and follow me". Jesus will not carry it for you but He and fellow christians like me will give you your boost when you need it. Stay strong and perservere for great is the reward for those who believe. God Bless you brother.

jcsaves316

prayer isnt going to break your addiction, action will, when you feel the urge, do something else, smoke pot, start drinking, bite your nails, it doesn't matter, replace it with an addiction that would be easier to break. Smoke weed, its not addicting, once your porn addiction is weak, do whatever you want, You've been touched by Imperfectionist

Imperfectionist

Well sex is a natural part of life and a healthy interest in 'porn' shows you are completely normal. My concern for you is the unhealthy obsession with religion. It will drain your finances and leave you open to manipulation by people selling you fake cures and guilt. You ARE a prisoner a prisoner of religious guilt. So as they say The internets for PORN.... Why was the internet born PORN, PORN, PORN..... Enjoy your sex life - get your wife to share your hobby - and stop worrying !!!!!

Carl Pierce

Your answer is not a magical cure from God. God is NOT going to solve all of your problems. When you pray, you must believe that Jehovah Jaira can and will help. You must also understand that there was one perfect man in this world and the world crucified Him. You are not and cannot be perfect. Jesus died on the cross to save you from these things since you could not save yourself. When you believe in Jesus and confess your sins God will forget that they ever happened. That is the beauty of God's grace. Your prayers may not receive immediate answers but that is because Jesus wants to have a working living relationship with you. You are forgiven but he will provide you with the assets over time to conquer your demons. Never forget that during this journey, even with your setbacks, He is with you and has forgiven you. Stand tall, as you are a living member of Jehovahs royal family. You are victorious thru Jesus Christ of Nazareth. We all have our own problems and as believers have to make our own journey. That is what Jesus meant when he said "pick up your cross and follow me". Jesus will not carry it for you but He and fellow christians like me will give you your boost when you need it. Stay strong and perservere for great is the reward for those who believe. God Bless you brother.

jcsaves316

Love is a decision. Go to confession and get it out of you. When you fall go to confession again soon. And keep going and do not doubt the mercy of God. He loves your effort in repentance. Spend much time in prayer and pray when you feel you are going to relapse. If your heart is genuine in wanting to rid this addiction it will happen. I too suffered for years but I am by the grace of God well on the path of healing.

Tracy

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