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How can I be a better boyfriend?

How can I better cope with one of my boyfriend's hookups from his very recent past?

  • Let me just say that my concern is not that he will cheat on me. But November of last year continued all the way up unti the end of January this year my boyfriend was hooking up with one of his good friends constantly. And she had a boyfriend the entire time. He told me about this, so I appreciate the honesty, but it's still f*cked up. We were listening to a song called "Scotty Doesn't Know" in the car and kept replacing the name Scotty, with "Clifford", which is that tramp's boyfriend's name. And that girl is still with the guy she was cheating on and he knows nothing of it. And that is deplorable! She doesn't deserve him and I don't even know him! So the past 3 weeks since I found out I've just been getting mad and upset. I've even been crying a lot, and because of the way I was raised, although I'm a girl, I seldom cry, and I hate crying. But when I sleep next to him and start thinking about Caroline I just feel ditry and disgusting and want to leave. The past weekend I got so upset about it I walked out of his hair barefoot, in the rain, and just walked into the woods and sulked for 20 minutes. Because I can't deal with it. And when I sent him a Facebook message saying all my concerns about this thing and how it makes me feel (I've talked about it to him in person, and by writing it down I could ensure that I put all the details of how it's affecting me. And when he read it he told me to "Leave it alone" and that I'm just getting myself upset by involving myself in something I'm not a part of. And I was somewhat blown away because he told me about all of this in the first place and gave me details about it. He was even BRAGGING about it! I really have no idea how to cope at this point, because my rage over it keeps building and I'm holding it in, waiting for it to explode.

  • Answer:

    Her still being with her boyfriend is no different from your bf still being with you. You need to leave him or kick him out. Do not stay with someone who would do something like that. He will do it again. Have respect for yourself.

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Her still being with her boyfriend is no different from your bf still being with you. You need to leave him or kick him out. Do not stay with someone who would do something like that. He will do it again. Have respect for yourself.

AuntKati...

First off, I'm really sorry you got put into the middle of this. It's a hard position to be in and it's kind of wrong that he told you. Also, it's a huge red flag that he bragged about it. Why would he brag about having an affair with another a person who is in a relationship? If he's willing to do that with her, he might do it to you. Honestly, the way he goes about things and makes it sound like it's no big deal, I wouldn't even want to date a guy like that. It says a lot about his character, hon. If I were you I would run far away from this guy. If you stay and he screws you over, then it's your fault. =/ How to cope over this? Not care? I mean, there isn't much you can do except sit your boyfriend down and express all of your concerns. Tell him how you really feel about this and that what he did was inappropriate. How could you not be concerned about him cheating? I would be with his track record. Good luck. You're going to need it.

Katra Soter

First off, I'm really sorry you got put into the middle of this. It's a hard position to be in and it's kind of wrong that he told you. Also, it's a huge red flag that he bragged about it. Why would he brag about having an affair with another a person who is in a relationship? If he's willing to do that with her, he might do it to you. Honestly, the way he goes about things and makes it sound like it's no big deal, I wouldn't even want to date a guy like that. It says a lot about his character, hon. If I were you I would run far away from this guy. If you stay and he screws you over, then it's your fault. =/ How to cope over this? Not care? I mean, there isn't much you can do except sit your boyfriend down and express all of your concerns. Tell him how you really feel about this and that what he did was inappropriate. How could you not be concerned about him cheating? I would be with his track record. Good luck. You're going to need it.

Katra Soter

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