Is it normal for me to feel this way?

Is it normal to be/feel this way?

• Ever since I was little I have always been alone. Yes I have parents and siblings, but I've always been on my own. I'm the mid child and my parents always had their hands full with my siblings. I didn't grow up close to anyone. I always kept people at a distance, at first I didn't but over time I got tired of friends always coming and going. In high school I began to feel awkward around other girls. I felt so alien and almost manly around them because I couldn't relate to their emotions and just the way they are. Now at age 20 I still feel this way around people especially girls. No I'm not lesbian. I just feel unemotional and stale/numb all the time. The only time I ever feel anything is when I'm with my fiance. He's the first and only person who I have ever had a connection with. It was an instant thing and ever since no matter how far or near he is, I still feel those emotions. Sometimes I feel so happy that I cry. And I hate it. Because now I'm vulnerable. He can hurt me if he wanted to and it freaks me out. If I can go back in time I would have not met him. I'd rather be alone and safe. I think. But its too late now. I'm vulnerable and I can't stop it. I've been through a lot in my life and its made me strong but now I have a weakness. Is this normal? Is anyone else feeling like this?

• Answer:

  hey, its okay to feel this way. but trust that your fiance wont hurt you. youve connected with him for a reason, cherish the fact that you had. if he is your fiance, i can prolly guess he's some kind of mister right to get there :) be happy and cherish him, the feelings, all of it. dont wish youve never experienced such happiness. why? because you are lucky you had experienced this joy life is too short to worry