How can one deal with Obsessive-Compulsive tendencies?

I'm more hooked on my bulimic tendencies then i thought...don't see my therapist for another 2 weeks...advice?

• i'm a 22 year old girl, felt depressed since 14, suicidal since 18 and only got help last june. I was in out-patient treatment for two months, and ever since been in regular one-on-one therapy. ever since july i've had bulimic tendencies on and off....although since end of jan, more on then off...a couple days ago i got my second sore throat this month, which i presume is from purging. so i've tried really hard to stop. but its hard, because i can eat, but then when i think about how i have to keep it in my stomach - thats what bothers me. wednesday and thursday i was successful at not purging at all. (its usually after dinner i do it). yesterday though, i tried really hard, but i was craving a donut walking past this donut stall where i live (in a city), i just had to get one. i was thinking because it was like 6:30pm and i barely ate before that then its ok...but then when i got home and had to have dinner...it was the combination of that, that i had the donut as well as the little bit of mashed sweet potatoe, and small slice of toast with peanut butter.....i just couldn't handle it....and i couldn't help myself from purging after dinner. my sore throat was starting to get better and now its back to how it was a couple days ago. i made my therapist aware when i started seeing her, of the bulimic tendencies i have, but i haven't spoken about it since, like if she's asking how i'm doing, i don't mention it. simply because i've wanted to do this since i was 15 years old....but never could do it no matter how hard i tried. i was so desperate to be skinny. and now that i finally can do it...i don't want to stop. except i also don't want to permanently damage my teeth, or anything else inside me. and i definately don't want to keep getting sore throats....which is the main reason i'm trying to stop it now. i wont see my therapist for two more weeks....but does anyone have any advice on what to do in the meantime? the only way i got by wednesday and thursday without purging is because i significantly reduced the amount of food i ate. i thought i could just stop it...i was thinking "i have a sore throat, so i need to at least stop it until its healed" which i thought would be no problem for me since i went years wanting to do it and not being able to physically make myself sick. but then when it came to actually having to force myself not to purge, it scared me. and i barely ate wed and thurs. and yesterday i wanted to eat a little more but only if i could throw it up afterwards..which i know i couldn't - but i couldn't resist the temptation. today i don't know how much to plan to eat, i don't want to eat something if i won't be able to keep it down...i think not eating is doing less harm then eating and throwing up the food. (i have enough fat on me to keep me going, believe me...they say your waist shouldn't be more then half your height, and whatever that is, i'm like two inches more then that.) does anyone have any advice on how to keep food down until i see my therapist again in two weeks? (and i will tell her that i'm still doing this). is it just lessening how much you eat so you don't feel like throwing up...and then gradually increasing that amount of food...? also, i've been drinking lots of milk in-case that in any way combats the weakening of enamel on my teeth.. any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you in advanced :)

• Answer:

  First off, don't think about it as two weeks. Only think about it day by day. If you can not purge for one day, you can do it the next day, and the next day, and the next. Second, not eating will make your body eat up more muscle than fat, so no it won't do less harm than throwing up Third, I think eating small meals and building your way up is a good idea and something you should try.