How can I make friends in college if I don't live on campus?
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How can I expect to make friends and stay connected in campus life if I'm not living on campus? I live in the near suburbs and my parents expect me to live at home and commute, because we can't afford for me to stay in a dorm. This upsets me, for obviously an 18 year old college student doesn't want to live with his/her parents, and I can't see myself making any friends if I go to school and go home every day. What can I do about this situation? I'd love to live on campus but my parents have expressed many strong words on how foolish it would be for me to be living approximately five miles from home when I live near transportation and have no real reason not to live at home. I can't stand the thought of living with my parents in my two-bedroom apartment for any longer than I have to, but the school I wish to attend already costs $20K, and housing is at least $8500 more. I don't know what to do....I know this isn't a big issue yet as I'm only a junior, but I'm going to have to start applying for schools in the next six months, and this school is my top choice, EXCEPT for the fact that I'll have to live at home. Also, on the school's website, it says that they expect all freshmen to live on campus. I have a friend who attends the school who lives at home, but he lives in a large house, resides in the basement, and has no problems making friends. I'm afraid I won't be able to make any friends if I don't live on campus, because all the pictures on the website are of kids in the rec areas with friends on beanbag chairs playing videogames...would a student that didn't live on campus even be allowed in these areas? What a freaking nightmare..
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Answer:
You'll have to make an extra effort to get yourself out there, in order to make friends as a commuter, but it absolutely can be done. In fact, talk to your friend who lives at home about all this, see how he did it. Or ask him to show you around campus on your first days, maybe have lunch or something - you'll likely meet his friends when he does this, and that can help you get into that social circle. The way my commuter friends did it was to join clubs and organizations on campus, and really do stuff for them. Don't just go to meetings - volunteer to work with other students on projects. And there are some activities that are more "life sucking" than others - ones that require you to spend a lot of time around the same folks, quickly - drama, band, some intramural sports, newspaper, frats, ROTC, etc. You can also make friends in your classes by doing things like forming study groups of 4-5 other students in each class, and meeting weekly to go over the material. There's also often a commuter lounge or club on campus. Make sure to go there, and actually introduce yourself to the person sitting next to you. This is considered normal behaviour in the first few days of class. If it makes you more comfortable, ask them for help - where's the bookstore, do you know where to get a good cup of coffee, oh, I see you have a psych book, who are the bad professors, etc. You're new - use that as your ice breaker. . And if your classmates, on the first day, are headed to the bookstore - go with them. If they're heading for lunch - go with (so bring cash to cover lunch in the cafeteria, for example.) Arrange to study with others in their dorm lounge, or in the library. Don't just go home to study - study on campus, and try to do it with other students. This can work. It does take extra effort on your part, but it can work.
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Other answers
You'll have to make an extra effort to get yourself out there, in order to make friends as a commuter, but it absolutely can be done. In fact, talk to your friend who lives at home about all this, see how he did it. Or ask him to show you around campus on your first days, maybe have lunch or something - you'll likely meet his friends when he does this, and that can help you get into that social circle. The way my commuter friends did it was to join clubs and organizations on campus, and really do stuff for them. Don't just go to meetings - volunteer to work with other students on projects. And there are some activities that are more "life sucking" than others - ones that require you to spend a lot of time around the same folks, quickly - drama, band, some intramural sports, newspaper, frats, ROTC, etc. You can also make friends in your classes by doing things like forming study groups of 4-5 other students in each class, and meeting weekly to go over the material. There's also often a commuter lounge or club on campus. Make sure to go there, and actually introduce yourself to the person sitting next to you. This is considered normal behaviour in the first few days of class. If it makes you more comfortable, ask them for help - where's the bookstore, do you know where to get a good cup of coffee, oh, I see you have a psych book, who are the bad professors, etc. You're new - use that as your ice breaker. . And if your classmates, on the first day, are headed to the bookstore - go with them. If they're heading for lunch - go with (so bring cash to cover lunch in the cafeteria, for example.) Arrange to study with others in their dorm lounge, or in the library. Don't just go home to study - study on campus, and try to do it with other students. This can work. It does take extra effort on your part, but it can work.
RoaringMice
Most colleges have a "commuter club" or lounge, or something like that, where you can meet and hang out with other commuters. Plus you can join clubs, attend sporting events, etc. that will keep you on campus after classes. You don't have to run home as soon as classes are done. There's usually enough to do on a college campus that you'll be able to spend a lot of time there.
yea my cuz had this problem too u just make friends like u did in hs honestly the best friend sull make is in college :) pls answer mine http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Am7.SqNQW8_2WxhkIV04Fgfty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20120329113344AAFQ6Uf
You had friends in high school and lived with your parents, didn't you? You make friends during idle time between classes, by joining clubs and participating in activities, spending time in eating halls and student lounges, being on teams, joining study groups, and attending events. You don't have to live on campus to go into rec areas, lounges, the cafeteria, etc. The expectation that freshmen live on campus means students not living at home. It is a way to reduce the options to get into trouble, which happens to some kids away from home for the first time. There will be kids who will love to go to your house for a home-cooked meal and the relaxing, inviting environment of home. You'll also have the opportunity to stay in friends' dorm rooms. Many kids have only the option of part-time community college if they work to pay for it. Be grateful for what you have and stop the childish drama.
You had friends in high school and lived with your parents, didn't you? You make friends during idle time between classes, by joining clubs and participating in activities, spending time in eating halls and student lounges, being on teams, joining study groups, and attending events. You don't have to live on campus to go into rec areas, lounges, the cafeteria, etc. The expectation that freshmen live on campus means students not living at home. It is a way to reduce the options to get into trouble, which happens to some kids away from home for the first time. There will be kids who will love to go to your house for a home-cooked meal and the relaxing, inviting environment of home. You'll also have the opportunity to stay in friends' dorm rooms. Many kids have only the option of part-time community college if they work to pay for it. Be grateful for what you have and stop the childish drama.
kaliesq
Most colleges have a "commuter club" or lounge, or something like that, where you can meet and hang out with other commuters. Plus you can join clubs, attend sporting events, etc. that will keep you on campus after classes. You don't have to run home as soon as classes are done. There's usually enough to do on a college campus that you'll be able to spend a lot of time there.
Michael
yea my cuz had this problem too u just make friends like u did in hs honestly the best friend sull make is in college :) pls answer mine http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Am7.SqNQW8_2WxhkIV04Fgfty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20120329113344AAFQ6Uf
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