Girlfriends cat is completely TERRIFIED of me, help!?
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A bit of background: I've never owned an animal, and was rarely exposed to them growing up. My GF and I live separately and I go over on average about 3 times a week, she also owns a 5 year old border collie which I can only describe as SUPER jealous/territorial (the collie constantly attempts to nip at the cat, and will NEVER let it out of her sight...even if that means hurting herself in the process). The cat was adopted about a year ago from a shelter, we were told that there were no signs of abuse on her and she was no older than 2. We went through all the procedures to incorporate the cat into the house properly and took the precautions necessary to ensure the dog would not be a pain the first couple of days. All went well to say the least. However we noticed the cat (Chelsea) was extremely sensitive to any sudden or loud movements, and whenever she was the tad bit uncomfortable she would retreat to under a bed and stay there for HOURS. When I and Chelsea started getting more comfortable with each other ( time frame of about 3-4 weeks since she was brought home) I found great entertainment in teasing and playing with her. As that progressed i noticed that every so often if she didn't like an action she would bolt away and wouldn't be seen for the day. I eventually got fed up with this, and proceeded to chase her one day, and it continued for a while longer until i started noticing the cat to leave the room immediately once she sensed my presence. Until it developed to the point where she would hide once she would hear me step foot in the house. I get it i shouldn't have chased it scaring it half to death all those times, but i simply wanted to play and my lack of experience with animals, especially rescues, didn't help. I've taken my girlfriends advice and tried to be patient with her and feed her treats for the rare times she would tolerate my presence, to try and gain her trust again, but all my efforts have gone to vain, the cat won't have anything to do with me. It bothers the hell out of me and I've resorted to you all for advice, on my unique situation. Yes I got myself into it and you can call me cruel or whatever you want, but i just want to fix it now and at least get it to tolerate me. Therefore are there any steps any of you could give me on how to approach this! I apologize for the long read, I just wanted everything to be clear!
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Answer:
Take the cat into a small room where she has no room to hide (bathroom). Spend maybe 10 minutes with her and then let her out. The first few times, just talk to her - don't play - no sudden movements or movements toward the cat. Don't try to pet her. The next time you visit, spend 15 minutes with her. The next time, 20 minutes. Gradually start playing with her and trying to pet her. She'll come around. I had one that used to hide from my boyfriend every time he came over and he'd be hid the entire time. After a few weeks, he got where he would come into the room, but would carefully watch everybody. If my boyfriend got up to go to the bathroom or get something to drink, the cat would bolt. A few weeks later, he would come in the room and not run off if someone got up. After a few months, he got to the point where he'd get on the sofa and lay beside us as long as nobody touched him. Now, he's all over everybody, head-butting and wanting to be petted and snuggles with us. He's rotten now (boyfriend and cat).
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Other answers
Take the cat into a small room where she has no room to hide (bathroom). Spend maybe 10 minutes with her and then let her out. The first few times, just talk to her - don't play - no sudden movements or movements toward the cat. Don't try to pet her. The next time you visit, spend 15 minutes with her. The next time, 20 minutes. Gradually start playing with her and trying to pet her. She'll come around. I had one that used to hide from my boyfriend every time he came over and he'd be hid the entire time. After a few weeks, he got where he would come into the room, but would carefully watch everybody. If my boyfriend got up to go to the bathroom or get something to drink, the cat would bolt. A few weeks later, he would come in the room and not run off if someone got up. After a few months, he got to the point where he'd get on the sofa and lay beside us as long as nobody touched him. Now, he's all over everybody, head-butting and wanting to be petted and snuggles with us. He's rotten now (boyfriend and cat).
corduroy...
put a cat cologne...side effects....the cat might have orgasms on you lap! otherwise all should go well!
Adhiraj
Well, definitely don't chase it for starters. Truthfully you may just not be a cat person. When my mom and stepdad were married we had cats and they just didn't like him. He wasn't a bad guy but something about his personality rubbed them the wrong way...corny as this may sound, I would say that he didn't "get" cats. He didn't understand the cat mind, cat rules, how to play with them etc...he basically treated them like they were small little dogs and, well, that doesn't work. So maybe you and cats just aren't a good match. Also, the dog may have a lot to do with it. Stress is cumlative so the stress the dog is causing her may make what you're doing seem like a big deal in her kitty brain. I had a cat "mittens" who was very sweet/affectionate until my other cat would come in the room...then she'd get weird/nervous. So like I said, maybe the dog is a big part of the problem.
Doug
Well, definitely don't chase it for starters. Truthfully you may just not be a cat person. When my mom and stepdad were married we had cats and they just didn't like him. He wasn't a bad guy but something about his personality rubbed them the wrong way...corny as this may sound, I would say that he didn't "get" cats. He didn't understand the cat mind, cat rules, how to play with them etc...he basically treated them like they were small little dogs and, well, that doesn't work. So maybe you and cats just aren't a good match. Also, the dog may have a lot to do with it. Stress is cumlative so the stress the dog is causing her may make what you're doing seem like a big deal in her kitty brain. I had a cat "mittens" who was very sweet/affectionate until my other cat would come in the room...then she'd get weird/nervous. So like I said, maybe the dog is a big part of the problem.
Doug
put a cat cologne...side effects....the cat might have orgasms on you lap! otherwise all should go well!
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