Why Are Some People So Controlling In Relationships?

Can strict gender roles, abusive relationships and marriages cause creative block, or affect your creativity?

• Going to an art college in a small-town like city filled with strict gender roles for men and women as well as homophobia, I knew many students, male and female who were in abusive relationships and marriages with non-creative, non-art appreciative people who were very unsupportive of them who called them weird, gay, lesbian, or bi. In the case of female students, they had non-creative, non-art appreciative husbands or boyfriends that called them whores, sluts, *****, bitches, ball-busters, maneaters, or tramps. As for the male students, their non-creative, non-art appreciative wives or girlfriends left them for other guys who seemed more masculine than they were. And this is why some of the students had difficulty turning in work when it was due because of their controlling, abusive relationships and marriages. As for me, since I'm out of college, I'm totally stuck with a fiance from my hometown who believes in strict gender roles, dictating the man should be more stronger, decisive, confident, assertive, and rationally intelligent than the woman. And that he should court the the woman and express his needs and desires as well, not the other way around, as well as keep track of what she is doing. Also, he says that the woman's role is to not make any decisions and not express her needs and desires as well. This is why my creativity is so limited because of this and that I always keep having bouts of creative block. How does one overcome creative block, or loss of creativity, when they are involved or married to someone who believes in strict, separate gender roles for both men and women, and doesn't appreciate their skills and talents? It's always said that creative-type people deviate from strict gender roles, do they?

• Answer:

  I think it's great that you are so aware of your situation. That is a great start ;) I think creative blocks happen you a person is unhappy, not necessarily when it's restrictions like gender roles. I think you should really think about the emotional effects that these restrictions are having on you.