Why are my parents so OVERPROTECTIVE?

Why are my parents so overprotective? I'm 19 and I'm still being controlled? 10 pts?

• I'm a 19 year old girl freshman in college and my parents stress me out too much. I dont have anyone else to turn or talk to My parents grew up in a different country and were raised very strictly. Here in the us the culture is different and they dont understand how things change Im everything they can ask for as a daughter. I study and make decent grades. I've never been in trouble with the police or at school Im not interested in drugs or alcohol like most of my school. I want to go out (I AM AN ADULT!!) but my parents have me way too protected and because I live under their roof, their rules. I could go out and party, drink, hook up with guys come home late with my friends, etc, but I don't want to be that kind of girl you know and I would probably get kicked out of my house My friends always invite me to things but I always turn them down. Their parents trust them & they dont try in school & they sneak around. I want people to respect me, but my parents don't even trust me, but for some reason they trust my brother. That's what hurts the most. I've been hanging out with a guy FRIEND but they don't like him coming over, me just hanging out with him, or staying out too long without texting/calling me every 5 min and screaming at me. My brother is 17 and him and his sk*anky girlfriend ALWAYS have sex in our house and my dad doesn't care one bit. He drives around way more and does anything and goes anywhere he wants. I deserve to have some fun but I'm so tired/stressed of dealing with my parents. I understand where they are coming from but come on, I've never even had a sleepover. I almost wanna rebel, like honestly if this continues, one day I'm just gonna crack and sneak around and do something plain stupid. I know my parents love me, but why are they like this.. Just because I have a v*gina, I can't do anything as much as my brother.

• Answer:

  Feel better, now that you've vented? Hope so. Sounds like you're not pleased with the unfair discrimination that exists in your household. Your brother gets to do what he wants and you don't get the same privileges. This is because your parents world view is still pre-Industrial Age. In the culture that they grew up in, boys were allowed to do things that girls weren't. Is this fair? Well, not in the culture you live in. As an adult, you're between a legal rock and a cultural hard place. You can live the life you want- just move out. But this would diminish your standard of living because you'd have to provide your own domestic infrastructure. And, since you are an adult, your parents have the legal right to say, "Our house, our rules." Yes, treating you differently from your brother does seem unfair. They probably grew up in a culture that favors males. But pointing this out won't help you. The bottom line is what you've pointed out- "Our house, our rules." It's not fair. but it's legal. And, from their point of view, appropriate. Sorry I can't tell you how to force them to be fair. I don't think that's possible. You might try for a modest change- maybe come home at ten PM instead of nine PM, but it's not an incremental issue, is it? It's more like "I want the exact same privileges my brother has." And that will require huge changes for them. Bottom line- endure the unfairness or take the economic and emotional plunge by leaving their nest. Hope you find the right way for yourself. ... Take care!!