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Should I stay with my boyfriend?

19 years old and my boyfriend(22) isn't allowed to stay over?

  • I'm 19 and I have a boyfriend who's just this month turned 22, he lives 4 hours away in university which makes it hard to see each other often. My mother doesn't have a problem with me travelling down to stay with him for a few days, and when he's back home over half term she doesn't mind me staying over at his dads with him, but when I ask if he can stay over mine for just one night she acts like I've asked her something crazy and always refuses to let him stay (knowing that when we stay at his dads we have to sleep on sofa cushions on the floor - not comfy). Shes let him stay over once before but she knew I was on my period, and she knows we're sexually active which she said she accepts because I'm 19 and knows what it's like at my age being in a serious relationship herself at my age, but I've always made it clear that we wouldn't have sex if stayed over and she always answers with something like "It's got nothing to do with that" when it obviously has? Why is she being like this? Am I being unreasonable or is she? Please help x

  • Answer:

    She let him stay the first time because she didn't know how uncomfortable she would feel,you will just have to accept it,she can choose who she has in her house, you might have to book a room in a hotel until one of you has their own place.(save up!)

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Well she does not have to explain herself to you does she, and yes it is her house and she can make the rules up as she goes along if she wants to. If you are confused, thats tough, you dont need to know the reasons because she is not going to change her mind. Why cant you get a hotel for the night or a B & B ?

I think for now you just have to accept that she is not happy with it under her own roof. Its clearly a case of out of sight, out of mind. I know it seems unfair but I think you need to respect her decision. Its always hard for parents to understand that their children are growing up but she will come round eventually.

Well she does not have to explain herself to you does she, and yes it is her house and she can make the rules up as she goes along if she wants to. If you are confused, thats tough, you dont need to know the reasons because she is not going to change her mind. Why cant you get a hotel for the night or a B & B ?

liz

I think for now you just have to accept that she is not happy with it under her own roof. Its clearly a case of out of sight, out of mind. I know it seems unfair but I think you need to respect her decision. Its always hard for parents to understand that their children are growing up but she will come round eventually.

Sambo

She let him stay the first time because she didn't know how uncomfortable she would feel,you will just have to accept it,she can choose who she has in her house, you might have to book a room in a hotel until one of you has their own place.(save up!)

PAMELA

It's just a matter of respect. Maybe she's just uncomfortable with the thought of you guys sleeping together at her house. Maybe she doesn't know how to express this and that's why she won't tell you straight up. I know the "her house, her rules" thing may get old and sound cliche, but it's the truth. I have certain things that I'm not comfortable with in my home and I make that clear to guests. Back to the respect thing, I'm 24 and my boyfriend's 25, we've lived together for 2 years and we still don't sleep together when we visit my parents. It's just a matter of respecting their wishes and not making them uncomfortable in their own home.

first off its yur moms house im sure you dont pay rent so you cant change her rules but if yuu guys wanna sleep together so bad why dnt you get a motel ??? idk i dnt have that problem my mom always lets girls sleep in my house on my bed in my masterbedroom

It's just a matter of respect. Maybe she's just uncomfortable with the thought of you guys sleeping together at her house. Maybe she doesn't know how to express this and that's why she won't tell you straight up. I know the "her house, her rules" thing may get old and sound cliche, but it's the truth. I have certain things that I'm not comfortable with in my home and I make that clear to guests. Back to the respect thing, I'm 24 and my boyfriend's 25, we've lived together for 2 years and we still don't sleep together when we visit my parents. It's just a matter of respecting their wishes and not making them uncomfortable in their own home.

Me

first off its yur moms house im sure you dont pay rent so you cant change her rules but if yuu guys wanna sleep together so bad why dnt you get a motel ??? idk i dnt have that problem my mom always lets girls sleep in my house on my bed in my masterbedroom

Louis

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