Is this a good start for a story?

Do you think this is a good start to a story?

• So I'm writing this story called Summer Days and it's about a 17 year old boy named Tyler who loses his dad and his little sister Kenzie who is 11 and gets to be really close with him, they are both trying to stay strong while their mother is struggling with grief of the loss and turns to drinking and disappears sometimes for days at a time. Anyway, this is what I have so far and if you have any other ideas for things that can help make the plot better please give me input and feedback on what you would like to see in it. I can't believe summer passed so quickly, but so much had already been gone by in a matter of three months. So many unbelievable things, the good and the bad had left us with photographs and church clothes, and at the end of the day my sister and I would lie in the grass and look for the brightest star in heaven. It was back when everything was fine. Back when Kenzie was a little kid. No one cared about anything going wrong. Nothing ever happened. It was just us. We were happy and smiley and just what people would look for. I miss those days. But after Dad passed away, everything turned backwards. Kenzie had to grow up too fast to enjoy the rest of anything we had. Mom was always lying around moaning for resurrection and beliefs of who knows what. I found myself too many times staring at old photographs and avoiding my homework because of what Mom or whoever was here couldn't help me do. Being seventeen, not much mattered to me, not besides trying to get Kenzie back to sleep after she would wake up every night screaming or turning off the outside light after Mom had decided too many times go visit the place of our father's death. What was left was all we had to hold hands and try to keep in mind anything that we had left, even after what we'd lost. Before that summer, we'd been taught that there's always something. No matter who we lost. The rest is at the bottom. "TYLER!" I jerked out of dreary darkness to glance at the glaring light of my digital alarm clock. 4 AM. Not again. I stumbled down the hall to my little sister's bedroom. The door was open a tiny crack, as it always was. I crept inside to find my sister sitting up in bed with red eyes and tears pouring down her face. "Daddy," she whispered as I tripped over the loose floorboard and lowered myself gently on the bed next to her. "He was -" "It's okay, Kenzie," I whispered, leaning her over my chest. "Just a dream." "But...he...-" she choked out, soaking my flannel pajama top. "Shhh-shh-shh. He's watching over us." She pushed away from me long enough to give me a teary glance. "I miss him," she whispered as more tears rolled down her face. I squeezed her hand gently. "I miss him, too," I whispered, drying her eyes with the corner of my T-shirt. "But he loves us. He will never forget "He will never forget us." "We can't go without Daddy," Kenzie whispered even more quietly. "We've never gone without him." I smoothed her hair off her sweaty forehead. "He's still with us," I reminded her, stroking the side of her damp face. "We don't have to go without him." "But Tyler --" "Shhhh, Kenz. T-t-t-t. Go to sleep. He'll be the sunshine in the morning, okay?" "Okay," she sniffled softly. "Goodnight, Kenzie," I whispered, kissing her lightly on the cheek. "Good night, Tyler." Two months passed, but nothing had improved. Kenzie was still crying to sleep every night. Mom was now developing an addiction to phone calls. And me? Between my time trying to keep the family together and keep myself from falling any deeper into what we were now in, I had a minute or two a day to breathe, blink, and on a very good day, take a walk and clear my mind. School was about

• Answer:

  thats really sad :( but in a good way, it is good that what you write has an emotional effect on your reader. Also i like how everything is well structured and not all over the place, a lot of the time that happens and it just confuses the reader. Though one thing to improve on is to use a tad more complex language, though please do not over do it, because sometimes people do that and it just ends up being a thesaurus put into a story.