What to write on a bar mitzvah card?

Bar Mitzvah Gift

• My wife and I recently received an invitation from my boss to her son's Bar Mitzvah. Unfortunately, we will not be able to attend. What is the appropriate thing to do regarding a Bar Mitzvah gift? Should we send a gift or a card? Is sending money appropriate? If so, how much? I have only met her son once and my wife has never met my boss or her son. We are not "friends", just business aquaintances. We are not Jewish and I haven't been to a Bar Mitzvah in 30 years--so we are a little out of touch with the protocol here. Can you tell us the most appropriate course of action and why?

• Answer:

  Hello, First of all, congratulations to your business aquaintance's son for reaching this important rite of passgage in his life. This will be a happy time for his family and his parents, and I'm sure that your gift will be much appreciated. Taken from a FAQ from a newsgroup centered around Jewish customs and religions, Jewish books other ceremonial objects or ritual objects are most traditional gifts to be given at a Bar Mitzvah, but money and other material gifts are replacing them in this modern society. You have to gauge just how traditional you think their family is, and then select a gift from the list linked to below accordingly. Should you choose to give the gift of money, a simple card would be appropriate as you can find Bar Mitzvah cards at pretty much any Hallmark store, and a gift of $50-$60 is nice. Also, I gave two links to Jewish Giftstores online which you will be better able to get a "feel" of what more traditional gifts are, but remember one thing, you're giving them a gift for their celebration, and as such, any gift you give should be received with good intentions. So don't worry too much about offending them. One last thing, if they are very traditional, pay attention to the suggestion at the end of the FAQ page: "Lastly, you should not bring your gift with you to the ceremony (if it is held Friday evening or before sundown on Saturday), especially if you know the child is from a traditional Jewish household. For those that follow traditional halacha, carrying is forbidden on Shabbat [there are some exceptions, but as those vary from community to community, its just best not to carry at all]." Additional Links: soc.culture.jewish FAQ on Bar Mitzvah's (Gifts): http://www.faqs.org/faqs/judaism/FAQ/12-Kids/section-34.html Bar Mitzvah Etiquette For Catholics: http://ths.gardenweb.com/forums/load/parents/msg0117071223621.html Sample Gifts: http://www.alljudaica.com/catalog.asp?ssec=Gift%2FRitual&cat=Bar+%26+Bat+Mitzvah More Sample Gifts: http://www.mazornet.com/jewishcl/barmitzvahgifts.htm Search Strategy: jewish bar mitzvah gift appropriate ://www.google.com/search?q=jewish+bar+mitzvah+gift+appropriate bar mitzvah gift customs: ://www.google.com/search?q=bar+mitzvah+gift+customs Hope I answered your question! skermit-ga