Serious is fine, but is anyone else in the mood for some humor today? Can you post a funny story, joke, or video to lighten up the place? I think we could all use a good laugh now and then.

Camoflauge Clothing There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt. After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant. "It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out." "That's very sensible, sir." At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon. The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned. "Get my brown pants."

The Why's of Men 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? because they are plugged into a genius 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX? thy don't have enough time 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? they don't stop to ask directions 4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock You're laughing aren't you?!?! 5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties 6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? you need a rough draft before you make a final copy 7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? don't know.....it never happened C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes! And the personal favorite... 8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? because a vibrator can't mow the lawn Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart ! One for the ladies... One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt sconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. " What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma . And they say blondes are dumb... A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manual"

INTERNATIONAL "HUSBAND OF THE YEAR" CONTEST Who will you vote for...........

Ya know all those times when my gorilla like hands and poor typing skills make my otherwise confusing correspondence to be utterly unreadable? Well folks I've found a new solution! It's a bit messy but if you leave a window open my new homing parrot will visit and make correction on the screen for you! ;-{D~

Senile... Like a FOX! One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton." The Marine replied, "Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn't reside here." The old man said, "Okay," and walked away. The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton". The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn't reside here." The man thanked him and again walked away . The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton." The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mrs. Clinton. I've told you already several times that Mrs.Clinton is not the President and doesn't reside here. Don't you understand?" The old man answered, "Oh, I understand you fine. I just love hearing your answer!" The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said,"See you tomorrow."

A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Tampa Airport . The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Tampa . I want to thank you for flying with us today and hope you enjoy your stay in the Tampa Bay area". He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The copilot can be heard saying to the pilot, "So, Skip, whatcha got planned while we're in Tampa ?" "Well," says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel, take a big crap....then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner.... I 'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and give her a ride on the baloney pony all night long." Aghast and amused, everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle, trying to figure out who this new stewardess is that the pilot's talking about. Meanwhile, the new stewardess is seated at the very back of the plane. She is so embarrassed that she starts running toward the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes. The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta land the plane and take a shit first.

Well, I think they're funny.

Divorce Letter Dear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you'recheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Dear Ex-Husband - Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a girl!" Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER,because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free! >P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem

Prostitute to man: "Hi, want to have sex?" Man to prostitute: "Ok. Only if you do it like my wife does." Prostitute: "I can do it in any way. So how does she do it?" Man: "She does it for free."