How do you get a 21 yr to except responsiblity.She is working a full time job and spends her money on wkends with her jobless friends.She is now past due on her car, cell phone and has overdrafted at the bank. Her car insur has now been cancelled. HELP

The only way I have ever had someone I know actually GET it, is to let them ruin themselves. If everyone stops giving in and letting them borrow money, paying their bills, etc. then maybe they will actually realize the value of their money. Otherwise, they'll never get it.

It's the hardest thing in the world for a parent ... saying no. It does sound like the only way is to let her lose the car and cell phone. But, if she loses the car, most likely she loses her job. And, when she loses all of it, then you can almost gaurantee, you will lose her. Unfortunately, that may have to happen! I lived thru it, twice, with my little brother. It was the ONLY thing my parents could do. But, while she is still with you, lay down the law! Tell her exactly what will happen ... (you will let her cell be cut off, you will let them come get her car, and there will be rules to follow if she wants to try and keep the job). If she still ignores you, stick to your guns! When everything is gone, she will lay the guilt trip on, hard and heavy! But, it is NOT your fault! You may have to let her go for awhile, to eventually teach her. Hopefully, she will see that you are serious, and straighten up. But, be prepared ... she may not EVER straighten up. My brother hasn't, and he is 46. But, some of his friends did. Just tell her you love her, and will always put a roof over her head, as long as she follows some simple rules. Good luck, and prayers!

Don't bail her out as it will only give her a bad habit. Let her feel the consequences of foolish behavior. by taxigringo.

Let her face her consequences. Don't let her go homeless or hungry, but let her lose the car and then lose the job because she can't get to the job. I went though this and came out stronger.

You get her to accept her responsibilities by LETTING her accept them. It would have been much easier on both of you if you had allowed her to fail when she was younger. Let her fail and learn from it now, before she has even more to lose.

Don't pay your kid's bills, that's just bad parenting.

Well it sounds like she has already excepted it. If you want her to "accept" it. Maybe some English lessons for you! Lord knows if she learned Ebonics from you, it's no wonder she can't hold a job. What kind of "mentoring" did you provide? Don't worry, the rest of us that are educated will continue to support you and your illiterate brethren. Luckily some of us had responsible parents!

Oh dear. Have you tried Napalm?