The doctors and the state have made it official; I must resign from my job and go on permanent disability. I've worked since I was 15 and this (librarian) was my 'dream job.' I'm more bothered by this than the disability itself. Is that weird?

No, it's totally understandable. This was a dream job, a dream realized and now it's being taken away. How sad! I wish there was some way they could keep you on...even at a help desk or answering phones maybe? Sorry Prime Tap.

That is not the least bit wired. I can not go back to my job also because I a also now named as disabled. I have learned about grieving. Whether we see it or not (no matter how solid we are psychologolically) we are human. We grieve the loss of physical freedom and then we grieve again because yet another hit arrives; loss of working ability. Grieve; ;learn the tools and you will find that no matter we are grieving. After questioning ourselves we can start to heal. Take care

Very sorry to hear that. Most of us define our identity to some degree by our jobs, especially if we're doing something we really love and care about. So not being able to work is more than just a financial issue, it hits right in the gut of the question "who am I?". Hopefully you can adjust to your new life, find new ways to express yourself that fit with your limitations, and know the satisfaction of a career well spent. Many people never get anywhere near their "dream job", you had many years at it. Good luck.