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How long do triathalons usually last?

Can I get my soon to be ex wife to stop spending 3-4 haours a day in the gym instead of home with the kids. Three kids 11,16,18 at home with her and she is obsessed with traing for triathalons and 100 mile bike races. I have told her my concerns.

  • Answer:

    From the perspective of a happy fattie that loves her kids and spends almost every waking moment with them, taking care of them. There are just some people that I see as the kind that avoid their lives and feelings and emotions... By exersize. No, Im not saying that everyone who exersizes is that way... But when women especially, do it to the excess, I find that these are usually the types that are in some way miserable with some aspect of their lives that they can't morally or emotionally escape from without a tremendous ammount of guilt attached to it. Exersize is a morally legal way of superceeding those feelings and projecting them elsewhere. If I were you... Rather than divorce her (probably because it was convienient for you in the first place to do so) I would try and help her see what those feeling are. Marriage is working together, no matter the problem and being intelligent enough to realize that sometimes... Things are not as easiy to figure out as they seem on the surface. And as much as we like to believe that everything is about us... Once we agree to marry and have children. Life becomes about anything but "me" actually. Sometimes.... as a dedicated mother and partner. My love for them is all consuming... I want to escape sometimes too as a direct result of their need, at times, feeling like a vice... That compromises everything I am. I don't exersize... But I do tend to over indulge in other ways specific to my own history as a means of avoidence. Address that... or lose them forever!

hdlord at Answerbag.com Visit the source

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I suppose it wouldn't be because even thou she's your soon to be ex-wife (and, nooooooooo, I'm not even wondering why!), you still want to control her. If it really bothers and concerns you so much, how about you take the kids during those 3-4 that she's at the gym?

Rinky Dinky Do

She sounds a bit OCD and narcissistic. There's really nothing you can do about it, but I would suggest trying to get primary custody of your children. They need a parent willing to spend more time on them than on herself/himself.

Lori K still ignores stalkers and trolls

Do you spend more time at home than she does? Does she work? If you are spending more time at home than her, and she is not working any more than you are, then I would say it is reasonable to ask her to spend part of that time at home. If she is not seeing her kids hardly at all, due to this, then I'd see if there was a way to help her understand how you feel. What do the kids think of it? Maybe get THEM to ask her about it? If, however, you are saying this because you feel her place is at home as a mom more than yours is at home as a dad, then you need to help out at home more.

Keysha

You have a problem. Why would you try to keep somebody from pursuing their passions? Except for the 11 year old, the kids are fairly grown up. They can take care of themselves.

larrymcjon

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