How to improve communication and expressive skills?

How to Improve Communication Skills With Social Anxiety

• Answer:

  For the socially anxious individual, communicating with others may seem daunting and nerve-racking. Shyness and fear of embarrassment may prevent you from striking up conversation with classmates and/or co-workers. However, improved communication skills can be achieved, although it will take effort, practice and commitment to overcome your nervousness. Difficulty: Moderately Challenging Instructions Observe how others around you communicate with each other. Listen to how they make conversation. Specifically, think about how they initiate and continue communication through verbal cues. Make note of what they talk about, as well. You can apply what you learn from others to your own conversations. Develop a list of things to talk about (conversation starters). Paying more attention to the news would be an advantage, as this would give you subjects to chat about. For example, a new YouTube video that has suddenly gone viral can serve as a topic of discussion. If you are going to a party or an event, be prepared with a list of topics that everyone can talk about, so that you can find common ground with others. A funny topic works best, since people will really enjoy the conversation. If you have run out of ideas for conversation starters or draw a blank, you can even make a casual remark, such as, "I heard it's going to rain today -- it'll be the fifth day in a row!" This will be a cue for the other person to respond and will give you the chance to strike up a conversation. Practice everyday conversations by initiating little chats with people whom you interact with during errands. These can include grocery store clerks and bank tellers. Ask them simple questions, such as, "How's your day going?" Or make little remarks, such as, "The bank isn't too busy today." These little conversations will help you build your confidence level to a point where you will feel less anxious about communicating with others. When communicating with others, listen attentively to what they say and show genuine interest. Listening will help you understand what they like to talk about. Respond by asking them questions, which will allow them to continue talking about themselves. This is good conversation practice for socially anxious people who are not comfortable speaking. However, it is necessary to contribute to the conversation by commenting or giving feedback, so as to stimulate the other person's interest in you. Ask open-ended questions -- not ones that result in yes-or-no answers, but rather detailed answers. Once you feel more comfortable talking, you can share your personal experiences/feelings and tie them in to what the other person is saying. For example, if you ask the other person about her trip to Costa Rica, you can respond by talking about how you would like to take a vacation someday soon. Use proper body language. Maintaining good eye contact may make you feel nervous, but it will help you feel more connected to the other person. You can use gestures when you speak (but don't overdo it), such as simple hand movements when you're telling a story. Avoid crossing your arms, as this makes you look defensive. Smile and act confident when you're communicating with others. Positive affirmations will also help you avoid negative thoughts such as feelings of embarrassment.