How do you maintain a positive attitude while being unemployed?

How can I maintain a positive attitude as a female engineer despite what I believe to be discriminatory hiring practices?

  • source: http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/03/10/study-women-who-can-do-math-still-dont-get-hired/ I'm an engineering student and find that being a girl in engineering is already exhausting and this research discourages me even more. Any tips on how to stay positive?

  • Answer:

    Realize that it's nothing but a game, and it's a game you're going to win. I was bullied mercilessly through most of my childhood, and it was very much a gendered type of bullying. I was punished for being a smart girl with strong opinions, while demure, pretty girls were treated like queens. There were so many days that I just wanted to give up and give in and be the girl that everyone else seemed to want me to be. But where would I be now if I had? Probably not working in Silicon Valley. I'd probably still be in that town, surrounded by the people who wanted me to think I wasn't good enough. If you're working as an engineer or in training to be one, you're a hell of a smart person. You're one of the most sought-after labor resources in the market. Yes, people are biased to believe that women can't be as intelligent as men, that thought labor is not for us and we are not for it. You don't have to believe this, though. You know better. You know that you'll do great work and get a great job, because you'll find the places that see the truth of you, which is that you're amazing. The people who don't see it or can't because they are willfully ignorant of their own biases? They have lost the game and they don't even know it yet. Really, the only way to lose the game is to give up. Don't give up.

Anne K. Halsall at Quora Visit the source

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This is a great question and one that most women in CS I've known have struggled with. Here are some things I've found to help. Learn to identify what's discriminatory about hiring practices. It's a lot easier to fight against discriminatory practices if you can pinpoint what is actually going wrong. One way to feel empowered is to educate yourself about the reasons women are being short-changed. This way, you can avoid these pitfalls yourself and/or help improve hiring practices so they are more fair. That said, please do not feel pressured to become the go-to person for all woman-related hiring questions. While it makes you feel so helpful and like such an activist, it can be exhausting. Make other people take on the responsibility of educating themselves about these issues. Befriend other women. My male friends are great, but they live in a completely different world when it comes to how they engage with the environment and how the environment engages with them. I've found that my female friends in tech can be much better to talk to when preparing for and debriefing professional situations because they understand. Similarly, older women will give spot-on career advice because they have had similar experiences. I have also increasingly discovered that women are more than happy to help other women because we know how hard it can be. If you can't find women locally, find them virtually. http://techladymafia.com/ is a fantastic network of successful and supportive women. Find woman-friendly environments. While there are some environments that simply aren't interested in gender equality, there are many places where the people are willing to do what it takes to get more women. I have talked to CEOs and people high up in companies who spend a lot of time trying to understand how to recruit more women and how to create an environment that is welcoming to women. These places would probably be delighted to hire qualified female candidates. Ask around to figure out what these places are. Filter out the sensationalist, negative articles. The media tends to sensationalize things--and what's better at getting shares and clicks than articles that say women are doomed? Most of these articles aren't the most scientific if you look at them closely--they are often loosely-based on a questionable scientific study. Ignore those and focus on the positive articles out there. For instance, recently there was this article http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/tech-women-are-busy-building-their-own-networks/2014/01/08/60e356f2-7874-11e3-af7f-13bf0e9965f6_story.html about how women support each other. The Atlantic recently had a couple of nice profiles on women computer scientists (Irene Greif and Radia Perlman) and Slate is doing a "Future Tense" series on women in STEM. I also recently read http://www.forbes.com/sites/susanadams/2013/03/20/women-are-now-paid-as-much-as-men-in-tech-study-finds/. Stick with it. Many of the reasons people are reluctant to hire women have to do with the fact that there aren't many women: people are nervous about changing workplace dynamics; people haven't ever encountered technical women before so they don't really believe that women can be technical. The only way to change this is to get more women out there. Keep doing what you love and it will get better!

Jean Yang

(Via A2A) I am writing this from the perspective of 10+ years as a software engineer and over 15 years in and around the tech industry. 's answer is excellent and covers a lot of important points. I am contributing my own answer because I want to add more positive examples for young women in engineering and technology fields. I am not going to minimize the concerns you raise or paint a picture of rainbows and unicorns for you. These fields are male-dominated and there is discrimination and bias against women— sometimes unconscious, sometimes not— but the experience for women is not universally terrible either. There are plenty of us around who have built good careers and good professional relationships. It Gets Better After School Since you mention being a current student— in my experience, some of the ways in which men are hostile or behave badly towards women in technical fields are age-correlated. Basically, in college you get a lot of guys who are still upset that they can't get a date with whichever girl they choose and thus have a lot of resentment towards their female peers, who have absorbed stereotypes about girls being bad at STEM work and have not yet learned any better, or who more generally have not learned to work and collaborate with people who don't closely resemble them. The generally competitive nature of school environments contributes to this dynamic. In the workplace, people have to learn how to set aside a variety of differences (gender being only one of many) in order to collaborate and work productively. Look for companies that have figured this out. You may still encounter individuals who are hostile or prejudiced, but good organizations will recognize and reward competence, productivity, and leadership from all of their employees. Connect With Mentors Women have certainly been a minority in my field throughout my career, but I have always been able to connect with some. In fact, my very first paying job ever was with a woman-founded startup in the Silicon Valley. Seeking out peers around your own age now is helpful for support, but I especially value interacting with and learning from women in more senior positions. It's helpful to see with your own eyes that people who look like you really can be successful, and your women mentors can provide concrete advice and perspectives based on their own experience. I have also benefited a great deal from mentoring by men in the field, so be open to those relationships as well. There are plenty of men around who want to work with good people, not just good guys. Take Pride In Your Work Engineers get to build cool stuff and solve interesting problems. This is not something girls and women are particularly encouraged to do— often we get the message that we're supposed to wait around for a man to fix things for us— so I think engineering and development work can be especially empowering for women. Focus on being good at your work and be proud of your learning and  accomplishments. No one can take that away from you.

Sarah Karlson

1. Join the Society of Women Engineers. 2. Get an engineering job. #1 should help you find an internship.

Jennifer Dowdy

'Be the change that you wish to see in the world.' said Gandhi. I have been a female engineer in the tech industry for the last 17 years and have experienced many positive moments. Forget the research and focus on becoming the best engineer out there. Companies cannot afford to discriminate against great talent and more and more companies are embracing talent be it male, female, foreign or gay! Having said that being good in your job alone is not enough, you have to learn  to naturally network with people (which most men excel at and women lag behind) , speak up for what you believe it and execute the hell out of it. Believe me, just doing these 3 things really well is a task by itself. Learning to network is a talent you need to cultivate young, speaking up during meetings, not selling yourself short (for eg, when I recruit people, I find women lag way behind men during salary negotiations.) Learn the tips and tricks that men use to exude confidence and you will attain nothing but success! Nothing is stopping you from being successful but yourself. Check out http://leanin.org/for inspirational stories. Join http://girlgeekdinners.com/ group near you, you will be amazed at successful women out there! All the best and go and beat the world!

Swathi Sambhani

Send your resume to where I am working.  When we win satellite jobs, we hire lots of engineers, men and women, whoever has a strong background in engineering.  Half of the engineers on my A-Team list are women.  If I were a Systems Engineering Manager, I would call them out by name to be on my team.

John Kes

I wrote this elsewhere.  I think it's important to realize that women often operate a bit differently, even in engineering contexts. Note: this post is full of wanton generalizations, but I am trying to allude to broader cultural trends. I think the first step is to develop a respect for the style of feminine leadership and come to understand how critical it is.  If you think about most business schools, they are run on principles of competition, leadership, domination and control.  Results must be 'driven' and market position won by any means possible.  The Art of War is the tome on every desk.  Competitors are enemies and must be treated with suspicion and aggressive techniques that guarantee control of a space.  These principles also trickle through the technology space. The feminine approach is more subtle and values cooperation, creativity and communication.  The female leader might have a strong voice and a firm hand, but she is also more likely to listen and empathize, both with her internal constituencies and her external ones.  She may seem to be slower to decide because she takes many data points and opinions into account. http://womensissues.about.com/od/intheworkplace/a/WomenLeaders.htm These things may be seen as weaknesses in an industry obsessed with warp-speed time to market and technological bravado.  The industry has a very strong culture brought to it by the majority of men who work in it and think the way they have been taught is the Way for all time: strength and supremacy rule, flexibility and understanding are weaknesses that hold up the process of dominate and control. To give you one example:  why do so few tech companies conduct systematic research into customer needs and wants so they can build tech that fits them?  It's because they think they themselves know best:  they know what people want, will build it, and people can adapt; must adapt, in fact. Women insist on acknowledging that the world is full of human beings.  We know that customers and competitors alike can be co-creators with us.  We don't slap, we guide and inspire.  But until the natural proclivities to listen, nurture, create and grow are considered integral to good business, we'll still be left at the table. Unless, that is, we learn to act like men in business seem to aspire to.  The Huffington Post notes that women who play team sports are more likely to succeed in business: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/19/women-in-sports_n_3466691.html The tech industry needs to make room for female leadership by valuing it first.  Then they need to reach out to all of us who feel like the industry doesn't want or need us.  At the very least, diversity is the leading cause of innovation, and everyone says they need more of that. In short, we women can be warriors, but we prefer to be muses.

Lisa Galarneau

You can take comfort in the idea that companies that fail to recruit and hire women are hurting themselves. They're missing as much as half of the candidate pool, handicapping their corporate culture and creating blind spots in their product development. You can take comfort in the idea that if you can survive the exhaustion of being the only woman in the classroom, the companies that are waiting for you and actively looking for you are likely to be the very best in their space. Some companies absolutely ARE discriminatory, but that's just opportunity and competitive advantage for the rest of us. [It's important enough to us, as a company, that I'm posting this largely because I don't know where and how to have a more gender-balanced pipeline in our recruitment and hiring, and I'm concerned about growing without addressing that.]

Marc Fenigstein

I have a few thoughts on this though I am not as qualified to answer since I am male. My first thought is to seek out women who are successful in tech. Model them and associate with them. Being in their presence will encourage you to keep a positive attitude because you will see them having success. Also learn what companies have a good culture for EVERYONE. Male, female, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, lesbian, Giants fan (cringe), etc. And make some friends there. Either you can get a job with them, or they will have a referral of other places where you can work. Also ask other engineers who their vendors are and what they think about them. For example, I use and think they have a great culture. I remember being at hackathons with some of their female engineers and they were freaking awesome. I also met some female engineers at Facebook who were really cool. So just ask around and network.

Juan Gallardo

1. Be good at what you do, be really good-- and keep moving forward with a sense of drive and self belief. 2. Be a 10 x programmer and a a-player. Steve Jobs once said "A-Players hire a-players and a+-players; but b-players hire c-players and c-players hire d-players...". Here are some experiences I'd like to share... based on what I've seen: (a) I once had a close female friend-- whose programming skills was/are much  better than her husband (also a good friend of mine) in programming-- and in the eyes of her male colleagues (who were not as good as her), "favoured by the bosses for salary hikes and promotions". However, since she used to respect me and occassionally look to me for advice-- I could see the level of self doubts in her mind and how hard she worked and what a effort she used to make-- atleast mentally, she was no different than any of the male geeks I knew. And the technically inclined bosses, managers etc-- who wanted work done-- realized how awesome her tech skills were-- and entrusted her with responsibilities, salary hikes and promotions at a pace that perplexed many of her male colleagues with who she didnt make much effort even to fit in socially. But she did well and she still is doing well, rising and leading in the tech industry. Many of the younger geeks-- who are hardcore and who recognize her skills as peers whose entire teams benefited from her leadership, had nicknamed her after a specific Greek Goddess. So ok... what I am saying is not just pure theory but based on what I've seen. I've seen cousins and nephews and nieces and friends who are not as focussed or dedicated as her-- to who what I just said sounds unbelievable. But if you are a person who is solid and committed to a path and good at what you do-- just be technically focussed and the road is no different for you than it is for any male. Ultimately her husband got into more of a managerial role-- where he is one of the best-- and they are all happy. So, being tech focussed OR not being tech focussed is not any big deal-- you just have to work at what you have chosen as your path- and do what it takes to succeed rather than trying to fit in socially and predict opinions of others.   (b) I have also seen "all girl" tech mailing lists and groups-- where (once years back to support a female friend who was being abused and humilated) I once came pretending to be a female and was shocked and disgusted how petty the females running the group was-- and how many would defer to the group leaders' opinions even though they knew the group leaders were not strong technically. Also, there were private emails exchanged between me (pretending to be a female) and some of the group member females-- who talked of how I was right-- but "we all need to fit into the world..."-- at the time, I didnt have the heart to actually tell them that I was a guy and had already gone pretty far in the tech industry-- so, my words were actually based on experience rather than beautiful ideas.   (c) I once had a close female friend who was one of the most energetic and entrepreneurial people I've ever known-- and she did manage to get ahead and survive and remain happy and continue doing stuff she believed in-- no matter the obstacles... even wearing her LGBT sympathies on her sleeve. Apart from being a source of advice and motivation-- her attitude and mindset was and still is a inspiration for me.   3. Remember, those who are discriminating are harming themselves more than they are harming you-- when the #1 challenge for any IT or tech company is to get awesome programmers and by discriminating they are only decreasing the pool of people they can hire from. 4. Be known within your team and social circle as a awesome programmer. That's it... just go for it and walk tall and breathe fire.

Nalin Savara

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