How should I respond (what should I do?) when I witness my neighbor repeatedly verbally abusing her son?

The youngest sounds a lot like me, though I never would grab someone's hand or ask for help, I would often deliberately set situations to see and talk with neighbors so I did not have to return home. From learning gardening across the street to playing with the young girl 4 houses down (innocently). I just looked for company without saying I was looking for company, company that I didn't spend my time shaking in fear.... The saddest part, even though it sounds like I am talking to my neighbor as I was a child about my family, I don't have much advice to give. CPS may help, but verbal abuse (and emotional neglect) is not as clear cut and easy to prove. CPS may help if there are obvious things. Perhaps it is a chance. CPS was called once when I was young because I showed up to the doctor with too many bruises. Back then they only investigated men, and there was no concept of sibling violence, that was just "boys will be boys" and emotional abuse was almost unknown portion of abuse. So they investigated my grandfather, the only person in my family that was not part of the problem. So forgive my pessimism as just an extension of your own experiences as well. sigh. I will say I appreciated every moment with all my neighbors because every moment playing, or gardening meant I avoided one more name, or one more injury. If the youngest keeps reaching out, perhaps finding new ways to reach him as well. I was the stupid one, the helpless, the worthless one of the family. The girl up the street and I played pretend games so that I could escape my life, not sure what she was escaping in her pretend games. The neighbor across the street that taught me gardening helped me to find some small worth in a very difficult life. Whether or not you call CPS, perhaps you can find small things he can help you with to find that same small piece of self-worth also. When you are at the bottom, every tiny bit of goodness is a gold-mine of worth. I was only 8 years old when I got hurt too often and tried to run away. It's an age where you are starting to get old enough to truly understand how f***ed your life really is, but not old enough to feel you can do anything about it. My first suicide attempt was at 12. With a little more encouragement and self-worth, perhaps you can prevent him from following in my footsteps. They are very painful footprints to follow that I wish on no human being, let alone another child.

This is such a challenging issue. Yes, I would call CPS. I would also allow these kids to play wih my dogs often. I'd make a habit of walking the dogs and talking to the kids, telling them positive things about themselves. I would also do what I could to befriend the mother. We really don't know what her life circumstances have been. Tell her what great kids she has. Tell her what you see in them. She is probably raising her kids exactly as she was raised, but you can model a better way. You can sympathize that it must be tough to be a single mom on welfare, tell her you don't know how she does it. She may just open up to you in a way you don't expect. Maybe she has truly lost hope in this life and a small amount of encouragement from you could make a world of difference. It may not, but you will never know unless you try.

This is a really tough and common situation, and I don't think there's a single right answer. Only you understand the context, the details, and your current capacity to provide support or intercede, so what you do will largely be dependent on that. So far, the other answers seem correct - even if they contradict each other. I would say: If you feel that the children are in imminent danger, call CPS If the children are in danger, this is really something you should do immediately If you are not sure if the children are in imminent danger, but you don't want to get personally involved, call CPS As others have mentioned, calling CPS does not necessarily mean that the children will be taken away or that any extreme action will be taken. In some cases, if it's determined that the children aren't under threat of immediate harm but that there is the potential for maltreatment, the family may receive needed services that are helpful both for the mother and the children. This depends on the state you live in, their practices, and the resources they have available, but the important things to note are that you will not be identified as the person reporting them, and you are not necessarily causing problems or making false accusations - you are just taking the first step that will lead to an investigation in which the needs of the family will be determined. If you are not sure if the children are in imminent danger, and you are okay with getting personally involved, consider befriending them This woman doesn't exactly sound pleasant, but if you already have some kind of a relationship with her (at least enough that she asks you for rides) and with her children, and you are willing to risk letting someone like that into your life, then I agree with the person who said that you may want to offer to watch her kids or otherwise get closer to the family. This can serve several purposes: You'll be better able to determine how much harm the children are being exposed to, and perhaps see whether there are instances of her being a good parent. If not, and if you see clear evidence of harm, it'll give you more information so that if you decide to call CPS, you'll feel confident that your decision is the right one. By spending time with the children, you'll be providing them with a much needed personal connection to an adult that actual cares about them and models positive behaviors. Having even just one positive relationship with an adult can change a child's life. You may actually help to reduce the likelihood that maltreatment will occur. Social connections are an identified protective factor that can reduce the likelihood of child abuse and neglect. It sounds like this woman has a social network - she has ladies visiting every day - but they're just hanging out and sitting back while she screams at her kids, so they're not exactly positive social connections. And the fact that she has to ask you and your dude to drive her places means that they are probably not the kind of friends who give much in the way of support. So providing support may actually make a difference. You can find out more about how social connections and other protective factors  help prevent child abuse and neglect here: http://www.cssp.org/reform/strengthening-families/the-basics/protective-factors Of course, it's entirely up to you how you want to handle this situation. Getting involved with someone like this, especially if they live close by and you can't easily avoid them, can be emotionally draining at best and dangerous at worst. I have a low tolerance for drama and would not judge you in the least if you decided not to get involved. It's wonderful that you care. Keep letting the youngest play with your dogs - it is probably a bright spot in his life, and it sounds like he could use more of those.

That's a tough one, it's not as clear cut as if you said that she was repeatedly physically abusing her child (which is pretty easy to figure out what to do in my opinion, call the child welfare hotline) but the damage she's doing can be just as bad. I have a few thoughts, depending on the severity of what she is saying, here goes. Is this a neighbor you could get close to? Maybe just ask how life is going and say that you think her son is a cool kid and you wouldn't mind hanging out with him if she needs a break. It's sad that a woman could probably say that more easily than a man but I think that's true so proceed with caution on that one. I'm just thinking about my own parenting struggles and they tend to happen when I'm stressed, I often send a kid or two to my neighbor when it gets rough, she has become a close family friend now and has no kids of her own. I get a break and she gets kid time so everyone is happy.  I'm thinking that might work for you, a soft approach where you befriend the parent and kid and offer support. If you don't think that would work or if she seems weirded out by it you might just be direct and say, "I've noticed that you have been really saying some damaging things to your son, I don't know why and I'm not judging you but I'm concerned about your son and I wanted you to know about my concern."  You might google some local parenting classes, our area has free ones with childcare and dinner for free as well, it's part if a grant and there may be something like that near you. Going to her with concerns and resources seems smarter than just calling her out. If she is saying demeaning and degrading things which you feel are severe enough to really damage the child, I would probably consider calling your local child welfare hotline and reporting it. Often times that's an indicator of other more troubling behaviors in the home and it might need someone official to look into it. That agency won't necessarily remove the child but they might offer services and support. That's a pretty extreme move though, and it'll impact the family so that would be my last resort. What I wouldn't do is tell her off or say anything in front of her kid, there's no way she could respond in any sort of positive way to that. Best of luck!!