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Why Are You Going To College?

Why are my parents acting so harsh to me about going away for college?

  • Why are my parents acting so harsh on me, about going away for college? I always done what my parents wanted growing up in a strict Trinidadian home. As I grew older I realized I never had a opinion or voice in things.. Now I'm 18 wanting to go away for college, it's very hard. My mom and dad know this guy I like lives in New York so they are using it as a excuse not to let me go away. First of all, I am a A student, got scholarships to go wherever I like, first child going to college, I want to be a gynecologist, and I wanted to go to St.Johns ( New York ) and I always listen to my parents. I do whatever they want. However , whenever.. Buttttt, allllll my life we've been visiting New York cause we have family & I fell in love. I want the experience of out of state, and just to get away from everything... I am Christian, and my uncle owns a church there too so I was going to go to church anyways too.. Cause that was another concern. They have also known my boyfriend since he was a little boy cause he is a family friend. So there is no problem. Idk if it's me trying to be sexual or what.. But anyways, I'm tired of sitting back and doing whatever they want. Now that my heart wants this, I'm trying my best to explain but it all ends up in arguments. How do you feel?

  • Answer:

    Hard question. We don't always get to do what we like. And you owe your parents. "Honor your father and mother." Being an adult carries one responsibility - independence. Are you able to be independent? If yes, then you can make your own decision. If not, then you are still dependent. Can you pay for college, food, home, travel, etc.? If not, then your parents get to make the decision. You can argue, but you are still young. And most likely they know better.

Charles Bollmann at Quora Visit the source

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They're worried.  Did they go to college? If so, they may have particular worries (about negatives they experienced, or that they saw classmates experience) that they can't protect you from.  If they haven't gone to college, then they have active imaginations (from pop culture) about some of those things. You think you're ready for college, and prepared for it.  They don't know that, and they know that when they were your age, they or their peers had some difficult times (whether they went to college, or not.) Maybe you should ask them for specifics.  Is it sex?  Drug use?  Alcohol?  Liberals?  ;-)  Ask what staying close does for them, and maybe what you could do to re-create that while you're away, to help them out.  (A weekly phone call where you promise to spend an hour being honest about how things are going, asking for their advice...?) (Also: ask yourself: why are you so adamant about going away for college?  Are there things they could do, that would make you more willing to stay at home, go to a local college?  No?  Why not?  Spell that out, because they may not really understand why you feel you need to go so far away for college.)

Kirk McDermid

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