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Remove Negative Publicity Online: How Difficult Is It?

How do I remove negative people from my life?

  • How to remove friends from your life who are more like enemies in disguise? They are so negative people, always putting you down, making fun of you in public and at the back, they put your respect in society at stake, they will do their best in using you. Please suggest the ways to remove such persons from life as this person is part of my closest friends group.

  • Answer:

    Interesting! Well my friend there is no sure shot formula for this but I'll tell you what worked for me. Since, you have made up your mind I would like to warn you that things are going to get real nasty. Are you still with me ? Okay ! Let's do this. First, you need to make sure of exactly what kind of 'negative' people you are trying to get rid of and then figure out ways to keep them away. 1) The Critics : Yes, we all 'know' (read : bear) them in our lives. They will always have an opinion on EVERYTHING. Don't get me wrong here, having an opinion is a good thing but nobody likes people who always keep poking their nose when something good is about to happen. They are someone who will always tell you that you are good for nothing. But the good news is you don't have to run away from them. Instead keep them close. A little sarcasm always helps to deal with these kind of people. Prove them wrong. 2) The Sugar-coated Backstabbers : This particular species here could be hard to point out sometimes. This is because these have a tendency to sugar coat everything. Here is an example for you : The backstabber : Ohh hey !! I love that necklace on your neck. So pretty. I wish everyone had a fashion sense like yours. Me : You think so ?? Thank you :) Later that evening. The Backstabber : Omg ! Did you see what a hideous piece of necklace she was wearing. Why can't everyone be like you. You have such a good fashion sense. Person XYZ : That's very sweet of you. :) *You see what happened here?* And I request you here to please make no gender stereotypes. :) Advice : keep your eyes and ears open. I don't mean that you should start doubting everyone. But be aware and assertive. And once you have identified them, pluck them away from your life. 3) The Manipulator : He/she is that person who always gets their way on the cost of others. If you observe them from a distance you'll know that they love intimidating others and bullying them. They often hang around a bunch of submissive people. Simple way to deal with them is speaking up. If someone tries to bully you, tell them ''Not so fast buddy. Get your ass away from my business.'' And ohh boy ! These people hate to be challenged. Try and reason with them and if they refuse to do so simply walk away and never come back. 4) The 'You've changed/You should change' friend : There will always be someone who thinks that you have changed so much since then in a negative way ofcourse or someone who wants you to become someone who you aren't. People like these often label you like "Ohh! Bahaar has always been such a snob." Or "She has never cared much." Please leave them to their own judgements because it's always better to be unapologetically yourself rather than trying to fit in to please others. Only you know what you are going through or have already gone through. 5) You : Don't be surprised or intimidated. It's 100% true. No one criticizes us like we do. The inner critic can be brutal and won't spare anyone. So stick on to all those people who love you and will always do no matter what. They are the ones that will make you feel special and needed. Try and pop that demon halo up your head and focus more on learning new things, read more books, be kind and smile more often. P.s. If the picture of a particular person flashed through your eyes while you read my answer(hopefully), you know what to do :) ALL THE BEST !

Bahaar Bajaj at Quora Visit the source

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If they are using you, they can't be your friends. Tell them straight forward that you don't like their 2 faced behavior and the friendship can't go on like this.If they don't care for you why should you care about them. If they understood its good. Otherwise stop being so friendly and start being more formal in behavior with them.

Bodhisatva Gautam

I have 3 words for you: Boundaries Courage Attachment Boundaries Boundaries are like a fence, they keep the undesirables out.  Social and personal boundaries are invisible, but they work the same way.  When someone violates your boundaries, you have to make it known.  You cannot "be cool" about it, otherwise boundaries become another pointless word.  For example, if someone made fun of you, they violated the boundary called "you cannot make fun of me".  Tell them, "did you just intentionally make fun of me?".  At this stage, most people will do some form of apology.  Those that get defensive or go into denial are troublemakers, this is your signal to ditch them. Courage Enforcement of boundaries require courage.  Faint-hearted people find it hard to make the word "boundaries" practical.  They can recite mantras in front of the mirror 50 times but the moment they step out of the door, boundaries fly out the window too.  Someone made fun of you in public?  Call them out on it.  Don't let them get away by pretending not to mind it.  Does that feel scary?  Do it anyway, that's what courage is.  Courage is doing the scary thing every time despite the fear. Attachment There is one more thing that prevents us from standing up for ourselves and to stop tolerating the disrespect heaped upon us, and it is attachment.  Attachment is conditioning.  Conditioning is a yes or no answer that has been trained into you before you could think for yourself, so you never learned to question it.  Someone just made fun of me, defend myself? Yes/No.  Someone just put me down, ignore it?  Yes/No. Notice that bad conditioning makes you attached to negative outcomes.  So if someone made fun of you or put you down, you are actually attached to the negative outcome.  This is how someone asking to be disrespected behaves like: Q : Someone just made fun of me, defend myself? A : Nah, I don't want to cause waves (No) Q : Someone just put me down, ignore it? A : Yeah, pretend I never heard it and act cool about it (Yes) The negativity starts with you, not with the other.  To stop the negativity, stop your own negativity, and you can best do that by enforcing boundaries using courage to overcome your own negative conditioning which permitted the outside negative force to afflict you in the first place.

Leonard Chan

Answers might vary from situation to situation. Two most probable situation might be: That person treats every one (including your closest friends) or a few people similarly : In this case you can group up and teach him/her a lesson or can  decide to remove him/her from the group. Your move can be rude or polite, depends on you and how much pissed of you are. Only you are being targeted : If you are the only one being targeted then it will be pretty tough to get rid of that person.          Firstly try to figure out why that person is targeting you. You might have a flaw (generally that's the case) and that's why you are his target. If you can remove that, then it would be like a slap on his face and he might stop doing it.        Otherwise talk with other friend of yours, especially the one close to that person, tell them the problem, they might help/suggest something or might place this thing on that person's mind and he might stop doing that.        You can try to be strong and act like you don't care. People only bully those who react to those things. Simply start ignoring hi harsh words as nothing was said and done. If you simply smile and act like nothing happened, then that person might get bored and would leave you. But this is pretty hard.         If you can't do this also then have a private conversation with him and make him feel guilty about those things (you really have to plan out the words to make him feel guilty cause these kind of guys doesn't fell so and will move on with the words "why would i fuckingly care about you").        The last option would be to speak all the stuff in front of all your friends including that person. This might be risky as that person can humiliate you in front of them but one thing is sure that if those friends are genuine then they will support you.This step will also decide what kind of friends you have, whether you should stick with them and tolerate that person or you should leave them or those friends decides to take some serious step towards your problem.

Gaurav Gopal

Two things should happen simultaneously. Start distancing yourself from the so called negative people in your life and start developing your own circle of positive people as pointed out. If you look at the things from a broader perspective, you will understand that the negative people bring out the best in you and the positive people strengthen that best that was brought out. However, you have to look at the things in the right way. One step further, become positive and motivated then those negative people get influenced to become like you.

Ashish R. Bhat

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