My boyfriend says that I am selfish .Is it true?

If they are good friends, then well you cannot help it. You should just let it be. Friendship after a relation ends does exist if it did not break off badly. But often things turn sour later on. If it does, the guy will pull off immediately. But in case you sense something is wrong and the girl is trying to entice him back, then you should blow off some steam. Let it be known to him that you do not appreciate this and if he wants you, he should break off all contact with her. But I am telling you, it is really hard for a guy to do so coz i myself have been in that same position. Unless the guy is insulted or wronged by the girl, he will usually not break contact, particularly if he is one who values friendship above everything else. It will not be any problem, but if you find that he is actually dating her even now and double timing you, just get over him and dump him in an instant giving him no second chance.

The word is possessive. Since I know only your side of the story I cannot really tell if he is cheating on you or something. And your view of “Can’t be friends after relationship” is absolutely wrong. Will they be only friends? Only time will tell. Even you two were “just” friends some time back. Hope for the best. P.S: Doubt is a seed of weed, and weed is will screw up your garden. Be careful.

Seriously!? you expect us to say if you are selfish!? Sorry but please don't be an idiot.. How do you expect us Quorans to know if you are selfish when we don't even know you are.. It's like you are deliberately trying to be an idiot... Only you can truly know if you are selfish or not.. You need to sit down and evaluate yourself. Every one go through this phase in their lives when they need to evaluate themselves and their behaviours. So it's upto you to decide if you are selfish or not.. And if you feel you are then you should decide what you should change about yourself. But if you feel you are not then don't change anything for your boyfriend. You should always be yourself no matter what. And if he can't take that then I suggest you end your relationship. And find someone who loves and accepts you for who you are. Cheers and all the best. EDIT :I'm sorry for the above comment. For some reason the question detail wasn't shown in the android app. Only the question was. Now to answer your question, no ex would convince another girl to get committed with her guy. That sounds really fishy. There r two scenarios for this situation. Scenario 1: like your boyfriend says he s just friends with her as he s guilty of leaving her for you and he completly loves you. In that case you have to trust him and be okay with it. Scenario 2: your boyfriend is cheating one you. In that case you dump him. How do u find out the truth!? It's really simple. ask him to share everything.. He should not hide stuff with you. And see if he always talks about her to you or praises her. If yes then you should dump him.

thanks for A2A For God's sake.....he left her for u, not u for her.....I agree that any girl at your place will be a bit insecure for sure...but u do need to understand that there's something called 'personal space' dear...U need to give Time and space to your boyfriend...let him tackle this.... U should trust him in this matter also...he is just feeling guilty...that's all...with time this feeling of guiltiness will pass and so will their friendship...why do u need to worry....let the situation as it is...and let the time take its course...just enjoy your present Time with your boyfriend and don't let it be destroyed because of one, just one misunderstanding..

Thanx for the A2A. If you want an honest answer, I would say that you should break up with your boyfriend because he has not really committed to you. Once you make a relationship commitment, you need to do everything in your power to remove any shred of doubt for the person you care. If it bothers you that he still sees his ex-gf, even if only as a friend, but he doesn't care much about it and instead calls you selfish, maybe he is trying to play safe. In case you break up with him, he can go back to his ex-gf and if not, then you are there for him anyways. So there is little at stake for him. This is not called commitment.

You are right in your own situation . As I felt that there is a love triangle and this is a fact that after releationship you can't become friends and I think your boyfriend and his ex girlfriend would in releationship because this situation is telling the same . Ok , nowwhat you have to do is to observe some points i.e. Is he always talking about her When you talk to him? Does he praises his ex girlfriend ? Does he always complaining to you about yourself? If all answers are yes then you should maintain a space with that guy because he doesn't love you anymore now and you are coming in between of him and his ex ? If it is not then try to understand him and try to make your releationship more stronger than before .. And stay happy

Ask yourself a question... Would you rather trust him to make the right choices and trust him to not fool around with his ex, and live life being secure and happy, but run the risk of looking the fool if he is cheating? Or, would you like to remain insecure, unhappy and worry constantly about whether your bf is truly faithful, even if he were not doing anything wrong? Personally, I choose happiness. I wouldnt mind looking the fool later on. My advice: Trust your boyfriend to make the right choices. Trust him to be faithful. You will stay secure and happy as long as you are together. Dont worry. Be Happy!!!

You need to trust that he will not cheat on you. Trying to control who your boyfriend is friends with will not work out for you. If you find out he is cheating, then it's better that you find out now instead of later when you are really committed.

I've been A2A, I'm not sure why. Your insecurities may not be justified, but understandable. We all do stupid things that we regret. But I do agree with your boyfriend, IMO your motives are just about you, you, you. I only read about what you wanted, what you were comfortable with, what you think is right, etc etc. you don't seem to consider what your boyfriend thinks or wants as long as your needs are met. Yes, that is selfish. And self-centered. I'm not judging, you might be young and insecure, maybe it's a good time to work on those insecurity issues. More annoying and disturbing is that you think people can't be friends if they've dated. That's definitely spoken with little or no experience at all. Give yourself some time to grow up and for ideas to shape up before imposing them on somebody.