What would you think of a parent who never lets their children have fun in order to make sure they are not irresponsible and spoiled?

I think you are suffering from several misconceptions about parenting and human nature.  I personally believe that people perform better when happy.  I think people can be happy when performing productive tasks.    Fun and work are not mutually exclusive. Also, from reading your post, I don't know exactly what happened in your childhood but I would infer that you feel you had too much unstructured or downtime and that led to you being unmotivated.  It is not all or nothing.  You can allow them down time every day while still making them fulfill responsibilities.  I like to teach my kids time management.  Tackle your homework/chores before playing computer or watching TV.

You do need to strike a balance. Children should not get everything they want,have no responsibilty or face no consequences for their behavior. But the other extreme is not good either. Children learn in stages. Infants learn through their senses and motor skills. Deprive them of a rich environment, or restrict heir movements, and you hamper their development. Toddlers and preschoolers begin to develop concrete understandings of things in their environment by observation, and through play. Each time they knock down a block tower and building it up again, they are learning concepts, like balance, height, eye hand coordination. Dumping sand or water from buckets teaches them things abt empty/full, heavy/light. When they play house, they are developing their concepts of what it is to care for a family, to work, to prepare a meal. Physical play helps develop motor skills. Coloring, playdough and other hand tasks help them gain fine-motor control. Exploring, make believe play and being read to develop curiosity and imagination and build vocabulary. Play really is their "work" at this age. Around 6 or 7 kids begin to comprehend abstract concepts - such as symbols can stand for words, money has value, etc. They are still growing physically and mentally. They need physical play as an outlet for energy, and can begin to learn to function as part of a team. They need to play with others, as this is how they learn social skills. They are still learning about their world, but on a bigger scale than before, because they have experienced more. And they need some time to read and dream and learn what interests hem, what inspires them, who they are as a person. The type of play grows more complex throughout the stages, but the need is still there. It is how children learn and grow. That said, while there should be ample toys and items for them to encounter, too much is as bad as too little. Look for quality toys that will help them grow. But don't give them so many they can't possibly play with. Limit them to a dozen or so at any one time, then rotate others in and put away some so they will be fresh when you bring them out again. Make toy storage as simple as possible - shelves and small bins - and from early on have them help you put the toys away.  Give them small responsibilities early - filling a pet's food dish or helping set the table. Establish logical consequences - if you fight with your sibling, you can't play together the rest of the afternoon. If you don't hold my hand in the parking lot, we're getting back in the car and going home. Be firm and be consistent and they will learn you mean what you say. Read to them. Help with their homework. Be interested in what they are interested in, and encourage their interests. Let them see you reading - books, magazines, newspapers - and take them places - museums, parks, the beach, plays, aquariums, etc. Share your enthusiasm and interests with them. All this reinforces that learning is valuable -AND fun! Add to their responsibilities as they grow. Community work is fine in small doses - you can burn out interest fast when you overdo anything. But make sure you are involved and interested as well - kids watch what you do, and if it's not important to you, it won't be to them. Having fun is not a bad thing. Setting boundaries, saying no when appropriate, and having consequences for inappropriate behavior, as well as setting a good example, will help you raise a well balanced child. It is the hardest and most wonderful job you will ever have!

Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs there are. Every child is different. If you have multiple children, you'll have to adapt your parenting to their personalities. And every parent is different too. Some would never dream of disciplining their children. Others believe discipline is essential. There's an infinite continuum of parenting styles between these extremes. It takes lots of personal experience, introspection and, most of all, love to raise well-balanced children. Normally, parents have the best interests of their children at heart. We want them to be happy, ethical and successful. Without a rock-solid foundation of love, self-esteem can be jeopardized. This is why divorce is normally so traumatic to both parents and their children. It calls that love into question. But it's not desirable to bestow too much self-esteem. It's not good to raise children to feel entitled or be selfish or lazy. And the best way to teach respect for others (or just about anything else) is by example. Graciousness, patience, generosity, empathy, diligence, fairness . . . all the real virtues are taught by example: not by lecturing. We cultivate the best traits in our children by cultivating the best traits in ourselves. But after all is said and done, it's up to the children we raise to stand up and be counted. For instance, take school studies as an example. A parent can help if they know the subject well enough. But guess who knows what you do or don't understand better than anybody else? You! As you read a textbook, nobody but you knows when you didn't fully understand that previous paragraph. It's up to you to reread it or review previous material or ask your parents or teacher for clarification. Parents and teachers can teach you good study habits but you have to WANT to study. The same goes for your chores or job or any other responsibility. And parents face the same choice. They have to WANT to make the effort necessary to perform their responsibilities to the best of their ability. Parenting really is the toughest job in the world. Hopefully, it's not also a thankless one.