What is your advice for dealing with your child going to birthday parties if your child has a nut allergy?

Do not depend on other people for the life of your child. Just expect nuts to be there and provide your daughter with her own snacks. Surely you've talked to her about the danger of hidden nuts, so she won't eat anything out in front of her, right?

I would agree with the steps you have mentioned. If your child is very sensitive, ask that no whole-nut products be served. Otherwise you run a high risk of cross-contamination. Discuss the issue with the parents. If they have provided food they claim is nut free, check the packaging yourself. Don't let concern about making a fuss prevent you from taking these precautions. Don't drop your child off and then leave (unless the parents are medically trained and you trust their judgment implicitly! ) You don't know how they will react in an emergency. And at this age your daughter is too young for you to expect her to know what she can and can't eat. Unfortunately, most people will completely fail to understand how seriously they need to take an allergy like this until it happens to someone close to them or right in front of them. But please rest assured your child can enjoy parties safely provided you take appropriate precautions.

I think that is the best route to go. Is there something the parents of the friends should do in case something happens? What is the procedure for helping your child? Does she need an injection of something? Do they have that? Being knowledgeable will help and might just save her life. Be diligent....it can be bad and a child does not want to be embarrassed at a party with their friends as they are whisked away in an ambulance....

My child is allergic to milk, wich is everywhere in birthday parties. The cake, cupcakes, snacks, everything has milk, cheese, or Something with dairy. Even thought our friends know about Oliver's allergy, I can not force them to serve stuff just for him. It is not right. So, I always bring his food, snacks I make at home, things I know are safe. And constant vigilance while we are there. He is just 3 years old, so he doesnt really get the allergy thing yet. Still, he doesnt eat without asking us first .

That is exactly what we do :)  Find out what they are having, and bring a safe option if they don't. Some parents are very aware of food allergies and are able to provide safe options, and I do the same when inviting kids with different food allergies to my kids' birthday parties as well.  For birthday parties, generally the parents can stay, and that is what I generally do, but in some cases I have entrusted the med pack to the other child's parents, if I felt comfortable doing so.  Instructions and information are always in the med pack and I have one practice pen in there also.  If they are not familiar, I just tell them to pull off the cap, jab into the thigh and hold 10 seconds and call 911 first before they call me.  We've been fortunate never to have it come to that. Edited to add: My kids are 10.5 and 7 and I have only let the epi stay with the other parents with my older child in the last year.