I've heard a lot of people on Quora reference "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. What are people's thoughts on this book?

"It changed my life” -   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warren_Buffett If Warren Buffett says it changed my life, it is definitely worth a read:-) Does it contain  any  out of this world technique  that will help you win friends and influence people over night? Of course not.  You might already be aware of the techniques  you will find in this book, and as you read, you will may also likely feel like "of course i know i should not criticize! "  But how many times did we not criticize?  How many times did we choose to speak  rather than listen? So its contains simple but great tips. One of my favorites is "Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly."  Sounds very simple? but works magic!  It has a great collection of examples that will put those tips and techniques in a day to day context. This book is  a guide book that will help you apply those simple tips in your life and serves as a reminder in different situations.   Just reading the book is not going to make any difference, unless you start to applying those techniques in a day to day life. So it is definitely worth a read !

Improving one's communication and relationships with other people is an important topic. That being said, I'm not a huge fan of a lot of the conclusions of this book. Dale Carnegie's book reads like a lot of other self-help books...it will give you a principle, and then give some examples (some famous, some not) of how following that principle worked and how not following it didn't work. Like most self-help books, I often found the examples stilted in the favor of Carnegie's conclusions. Take, for example, the section of the book where Carnegie writes about how we shouldn't criticize others. I think Carnegie has identified a very valid problem: criticism often engenders resentment and fails to engender positive change. I disagree entirely with his conclusion that the answer to this problem is to not criticize others. To me, this problem primarily speaks of a need for people to become skillful in their criticisms, to learn to phrase them in a way that doesn't cause resentment and instead provokes positive learning. It also speaks of the need for hearers of criticism to have an open mind, to realize that the other person may have something important to teach them, and to realize that they have the choice to accept or reject the criticism as they see fit. This section also makes me think of all the harsh criticisms I've received: some were just painful but others were immensely helpful to my growth despite being harsh. Yet, Carnegie's conclusion is that we should avoid criticizing others. I think that's a rather unnuanced solution to the issue, and misses the point that a lot of criticism is valid and helpful. Of course, a lot of the merit of a book like this is in how it's applied, and I think most people have run afoul of someone applying a Carnegie principle in a lousy way. I've had sales calls to my office where the person kept using my name in every sentence (Carnegie advises that a person's name is "the most beautiful word in the world to that person") or try to talk to me about my interests. Again, these principles aren't necessarily bad in and of themselves--judiciously using a person's name in conversation can increase rapport and help you remember it, and inquiring about someone's interests can lead to enjoyable conversation--but when it's done badly it comes off as artificial and smarmy, especially if it's done by someone who clearly doesn't care about you and has other motives (sales calls, networkers, etc.). For those who lack social skills, Carnegie's book can lay some necessary foundations and I think he often does a good job of identifying problems that plague human relationships. However, his conclusions are often one sided and miss a lot of the nuance of successful conversations and relationships. I'd say in general he relies too much on over-simplification. Although there are certainly nuggets of wisdom in this book, I'd say overall it doesn't quite live up to its hype. While reading it may shed light on a few areas of communication and interaction, its wisdom alone isn't enough to make anyone a master.