I am angry, irritated and frustrated most of the time. I've been feeling this way for over a year now. I hate myself being this way. How can I control this?

• Sometimes I feel extremely low. I have big goals in life and nothing is greatly progressing. I don't have my priorities set right. Sometimes "people" contribute to the anger, frustration and O feel like I cannot control the way I react or handle situations. I can't stand some people and their ideologies. (I feel they are against what is important for me or are against my values -- and it gets onto my nerves.) Unfortunately, my parents and close friends are also having to deal with my stuff. I feel powerless, like my emotions are controlling me. I always thought I am a very good person at heart, but I just don't feel that anymore. I don't feel good about myself or anything around me. I thought I needed some change so I recently got another job, which I was happy about for some time, but it doesn't excite me anymore. This happens with everything -- I am excited about something for a week or two and somehow I just lose it over time. I can just be in my room, all by myself for hours or days together and just don't feel like socializing or going out with friends. Yes, I do go out, but I prefer going out by myself. I also have my best friends wedding coming up, but I am not excited or involved in helping her with the preparations. I feel bad I am this way, but I feel I am not able to help it. I feel so helpless and if I do anything to keep myself occupied, I end up feeling extremely stressed and overwhelmed. Sometimes I just feel like doing nothing, and be that way. I am just so bored in life and I feel my friends and parents should understand that i want to be left alone and not have so many expectations out of me. I feel selfish, but i also feel I need to just take care of myself. I don't understand myself or what i am going through, but i haven't been this way. I was a very cheerful, happy go lucky person and everyone knew me to be that person. I just don't know what to do!! :(

• Answer:

  I am angry, irritated and frustrated most of the time. I've been feeling this way for over a year now. I hate myself being this way. How can I control this? First problem. You've already been trying to control it. How's it work'n for ya? Not, right. That is because you are fighting natural laws in yourself. Newtons third law of motion. For every action there is a reaction. This isn't just about stuff. It is us too. You (I) are telling yourself one thing and the other part (myself) resents it. The more you push, the more it pushes back. You have loaded up on your emotional side so much. Look at all your feeling statements. I feel like I cannot control the way I react or handle situations. I feel I am not able to help it. I feel I need to just take care of myself. I feel they are against what is important for me or are against my values Problem with this group, these are not feelings, Basically they are thoughts. or better yet, judgments. They have been hijacked by your logical side. Your feelings In this group are statements of being. I don't feel like socializing or going out with friends. I feel extremely stressed and overwhelmed. I feel like doing nothing. I feel so helpless I feel selfish, I don't feel good I feel bad I feel powerless, like my emotions are controlling me. Well that certainly seems accurate. I don't have my priorities set right. This is an attempt to override with reason. This happens with everything The process has invaded every dynamic by now. I do anything to keep myself occupied, Oh yeah. This is so you don't access feelings and spin up again. I don't understand myself or what i am going through, You are experiencing a kind of fragmentation of your system. In machine language: "I feel like I'm losing my bearings." Time to evolve. The old ways are now defunct. Most people feel a great sense of anxiety, especially if they can't get a handle on what has changed. but I haven't been this way. No you haven't. You relied on another system before. Something has changed your dynamic. It could be age, completing school, getting or losing a career, getting or losing a relationship, or any number of other issues where you were following a path, and it has run out. You are like Alice in Alice in Wonderland (Disney) where she finally thinks she is on her way home to security, when the broom-dog wipes away her trail in Tulgey wood. I always thought I am a very good person at heart, but I just don't feel that anymore. This is about accessing who you really are. You can't do it the way you used to and it is scaring you. I am just so bored in life. See, this is your own system trying to tell you it is time to grow. You are wanting to become yourself now rather than follow whatever role was set up for you in life by your family, friends, society, or gender. I feel my friends and parents should understand that I want to be left alone and not have so many expectations out of me. And here it is. You have been a good girl and doing what "They" wanted. Your anger is resentment about being pressured, real or imagined, to continue what is expected of you. You have given them your early life, now you are worried it is starting to cost your soul. I was a very cheerful, happy go lucky person and everyone knew me to be that person. True, true. There is something real secure when abiding by the rules and following a set pattern laid out while you are in harness. Things are externally referenced so all you have to do is color in the lines other people drew for you. I just don't know what to do!! :( No you don't. If you're going to run your own life and be your own person, you have to find that map inside you as to what your destiny or karma is about. Following someone else and suddenly being on your own, can be quite startling. You are anxious because of not being trained before hand in following your own drummer. If you are freaking out too much and it is interfering with basic living; for example, sleeping too much, think seriously of getting on appropriate medication to stabilize yourself as you go into the next era of your life. Once that is accomplished you are ready to go onto the next step. You are trying to find yourself. This is a journey everyone makes at sometime in their life. The younger you are, the less disruption and scarring it generally is. There are many formats different people have written about. Your job is to find a method which fits you and your abilities. This is an answer I gave to "How does one find oneself?" Locating a way to your own true self is where the peace is. Stop giving away your soul and learn how to assert yourself with people in your sphere of influence. Some people seem to have to journey outside to achieve the journey inside. Whatever is workable for you, just start the expedition and your true self will unveil in front of you. [edit] I just got to work and thought of a metaphor for you. If you have ever watched a chrysalis emerge into a butterfly, you have seen that struggle as it thrashes about trying to rid itself of the now claustrophobic safety chamber. What was once a place of security and comfort is now infuriating as it confines and continues to wrap itself around the emerging butterfly. Same with you, You really are describing the experience of being trapped in the cocoon of your old life. Because it is so close, it is hard to get perspective. Have faith you will emerge better and more beautiful than ever. Then try those new wings. Reminds me of what one Caterpillar said to the other as they watched a butterfly soar. "You'll never get me up in one of those things."