I find it difficult to trust boys and impossible to consider a relationship because my ex hurt me too badly. What should I do?

Here are a few things you should do, preferably in that order: 1. Say it to yourself that not all men are the same. Say it each morning you get up and believe in what you say. 2. Seek an appointment with a counselor and pour out your fears and issues. Take their advice and follow it religiously. 3. Try some sort of mind relaxing activities - a relaxed walk in the park everyday, a few minutes of meditation, a dedicated hour every day for yoga - anything that you can enjoy and can help you relax you. Sometimes, even sitting in the patio and sipping a hot cup of coffee while watching the sun set can do wonders to your mind's health. 4. Join a social club - group studies, pottery, painting, photography, hiking - anything that you like where you get to meet new people and make new friends. This world has a lot of interesting people and there is no fun in not meeting them. 5. Remember that your past - good or bad - is just that. Past. Do not live your present worrying about the past. Pick your lessons from the past and live today. Live a fulfilling life! Good luck. May you be blessed with a wonderful life ahead!

Get help. Drop anyone who doesn't respect you. It's better to be alone, than to be abused by someone you trust.

This is a hard position to be in.  Like other, I think that working with a therapist han help you understand your reactions and help you learn to cope with them.

Well, first thought I had if I were you is if I like a guy and interested in a relationship, then I would just be up front with him and say, "You start off on the idiot list.  If at anytime you're too much of an idiot, then I dump you.  If you don't accept the dumping immediately, then I file a restraining order.  if you keep bugging me after that, then I tell my ex that you are bothering me." Of course, my first thought is hardly ever my best thought.  So, I like what this Anon person suggested (the one with 5 ideas.) But I would also suggest exploring your inner-self and find some mysteries that may be there.  Search for what you really want in life and love.  And understand that while taking your journey to explore life and love you are really on your own, and don't need someone hanging around all the time, and you don't need to test every guy out there to find answers.  Use your instincts more. Trust yourself, and believe in yourself so you don't have to put trust in a guy.  The right guy for you is out there.  He will be the idiot who you can laugh at without getting abused in return.  He will be the idiot who puts your interests before his.  He will be the idiot who you can feel totally comfortable being around, and be yourself.  And this idiot will blossom into the real man in your life.

Hi,  I understand from your comments, you are a shy girl and it was you first relationship and that's what scares you the most right. you are afraid that every other relationship is going to be the same and you might get hurt in the process.  i don't think you are sick its just paranoia that causing you troubles in your relationship with other boys. it's very natural to be afraid or paranoid about someone or something that can cause you harm . its an in built mechanism of human nature, its just a defensive reaction of your brain to preserve you from harm. Its just like being afraid of  rats or spiders or fire. The only way you can get out of this problem is facing your fears. In all that, guy you are afraid of is not a monster with ten legs so cheer up . He is just another guy who is rather psychologically disturbed. I feel you are very conscious about this and you always have him in your thoughts. first of all get reed of anything that reminds you of him from your life . you lack confidence in yourself so try getting out of your shell involve your self in activities that can increase your confidence levels(it can be anything from sports activities to martial arts or any activity that can focus on increasing your confidence ) its is said that "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone" So get up and try living the life the way you want and  no one in the world has the power to hurt you unless you let it happen.  you yourself are responsible for your happiness . . . . .