How do I tell my parents, without getting them hurt, that I love someone?

"How do I tell my parents that I love someone without hurting them?" Doesn't that sentence sound totally ridiculous? Imagine someone unfamiliar with South-East Asian cultures reading that. They'd think there's some sort of a weird typo in there! :D It's indeed a heartbreaking tragedy that in most Indian societies "telling your parents that you love someone" is equivalent to "hurting them". "My parents are very loving and understanding with regards to anything but love." I mean ... What does that even mean? My outraged outbursts aside (No one in my extended family ever had an arranged marriage after my grandparents' generation. I didn't know arranged marriages were so common even today until I left home to pursue higher studies etc. So I'm as surprised by questions like this one as your parents would be if they knew you're seeing a guy for 6 years. :D), there are this kind of considerations too: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/hyderabad/Techie-murdered-by-parents-in-suspected-honour-killing/articleshow/32575093.cms. So I'm not quite sure how much sense it makes to ruffle feathers with your "really orthodox" parents, unless you're ready to move out of home and marry your boyfriend without telling your parents. This might help: http://www.loveinindia.co.in/moving-out-of-home/ (even though it's meant chiefly for guys but I think you'll get the idea if you read it). Dunno if I could help enough. Your situation has only radical/tragic solutions - no cozy"middle ground" ones.

Look for a respected elder in your family that will be willing to stand with you in representing the case. Your parent's already know this man, so they should know he is not some waste of skin. That should work in your favor. You'll have to remain calm. They will be angry that this has been going on for so long. They will feel deceived, at minimum, misled. Don't get heated. Prepare what you need to say, so you can be in control of your emotions. Then give your parents time to digest this news. It's doubtful this will be a one time discussion. It is much more likely to be a series of talks, to try to work through all the issues, and feelings. Don't push for an immediate answer. Stress your maturity, and the balanced view of the choice of him as a mate.

I would like to tell you about an experience I recently had a chance to recollect.  It was when I cast someone out of my life essentially because of how my family felt her background was a threat to my wellbeing... that I would be pulled into bad behavior... that she was a bad influence.  It was a little bit like a caste system because she was partially of my race and another, while I was wholly one race, presumably. It happened when I was very young (compared to now).  We were 16.  I dropped her overnight, not because of ANYTHING she did wrong to me, because her relating to me bumped up against my parents' limits with feeling safe and feeling I was safe.She had high integrity.  High sensibility.  She would never impose; yet she had great need, as her father had died, her step dad was a racist nut and took things out on her, so any vacation or summer break, she had to land at someone's house as she finished high school.  And I dumped her?  Because our friendship made my parents nervous?  But guess whose guilt it was that I hurt her?  MINE.  Not my parents; not the upholder of any system of thought that allows us to hate/segregate/separate, but ME.  I was the chicken.Here's the point.  How will you ever ever ever live with YOURSELF, if you are not TRUE TO YOU?  Justice is carried out not be religion or gods or beliefs, but by people.  How would you want to be treated?  And is there a price to be paid for living like this, for truly loving all, no matter what?  And to honor what is TRULY in our minds and hearts to do?  You bet there is.  But the price to NOT do this is higher.Go do the right thing, no matter the cost.  Nothing less will make you okay with you and you will ever feel like you compromised.  And this will begin more compromises.  Don't do it.  Stick with your vision, you've been given it for a reason.

Parents always pretend as if they never had a childhood and they were never wrong before. I bet they have been through the sane with their parents so start of by asking to put themselves in your situation when they were at your age. Have them remember all the other things they have done wrong when they were at your age and especially when it comes to falling in love. People will understand better if you put the situation on your point of view through their experiences early in life.